Shining Solo

In Ends Here (Sometime Next Tomorrow)

04.22.2020 . RM

I saw your message last night.
I tried to call you back,
But it seems you're too busy,
According to your busy line.
It does not matter, anyhow.
I'll try again tomorrow
Maybe then, we can end
This long goodbye.

Your books are still here.
I placed them on a crate,
The one we bought when
We still wanted to adopt a pet.
Shame that we never got
Around to it.
Like with all the other plans
We had but abandoned
Down the hill.

Hannah said she saw you
Yesterday, by the cafe
Ordering your favorite drink
And mine--
While talking and laughing
With your new Partner
In crime? In love?
Oh, but you don't like
Love--what a laugh.
How are you?

I was really surprised to hear
Your voice fill my empty house
When I listened to your message.
It brought back memories
That I thought I've thrown away
Like your love letters and
Cheap crane gifts
Which once made my heart ache
With joy... Or so I thought.

Yes, I went out and had fun.
And did the cheesy things
You didn't want.
I felt I owed it to myself.
This happiness you dangled
In front of me, like a carrot
At the end of the fishing rod.
Always near, never achievable.
You were always quite a bastard.

Jerry says hello.
My mom asked me if you're still alive
Or already in prison. Or dead.
Whichever, she doesn't have a preference.
You should really take home your game,
Or it will end up broken by the kid.
Your dirty clothes, too--
They're still here, rotting.
I can't make myself put them in the trash.
What if some homeless need them?
Take them and your books.

I'm changing my number after tomorrow.
I need a change of pace,
Away from your stifling shadow
And reckless violation of my space.
Remember the hundred meters
And don't attempt to integrate yourself
Anymore, in my life--in my house
In my crazy, warm family.
You're not part of it anymore.
Don't call me after tomorrow
After which, you can talk to my lawyer.

I have to go now.
I'll put all your things outside
The garage, near the broken piano
By the patio--the one you hammered down
When you thought I was flirting
With the gardener you hired
While I was in my dirt-encrusted overalls.
Enjoy your new conquest
And make sure you check your mail
Sometime today, or next tomorrow.
It ends here, or I will make you.