I'll Stay

Chapter 2: Guilt

Chapter 2

Purple was always more of a sinister colour to me, I never really liked it.

 

It had scared me seeing the flux all over her arms and covering her right eye. It seemed unatural to see such a colour on Kim. But really it was my own fault.  It was my own fault that she had fallen into the sphere and to this day I still blame myself.  Livid's voice always haunts me in my nightmares, telling me that I killed her, that I was a monster.

Making me feel guilty.

 

Guilt.

I feel guilty that I blew up Rythian's base, I feel guilty that I almost killed Zoey, I feel guilty that I basically cursed Kim.

Kim.

 

I smile just thinking of the short Malaysian apprentice of mine. Always shouting at me, convincing me to blow stuff up. She had brought light into my world and given me something to care about when I was beginning to lose my mind, she gave me something to live for, and she stopped Livid from taking over me.

But she'll never know that.

 

No, she definitely won't know that. She can't know about my demons. She'll think of me as a monster and she'll leave me like everybody else in my life.

The fact that she thought that I would think of her as the monster still shocks me. 

Just because the flux is covering her body doesn't mean that she's a monster, because it was my fault in the first place.

That's another thing to put on the list of things I feel guilty about.

Locking her up in her own tower.

 I cringe just thinking of my actions.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I look up from my work, and smile when I see it was just Kim, the very subject of my thoughts.

"Nothing, just really tired." I reply, not wanting her to worry.

"You looked almost in pain. Maybe you should get some sleep," she checked the time on the clock, "Jeez! It's almost midnight! We should get to sleep or else we'll never get up in time for tomorrow!"

"Why? What's happening tomorrow?" I asked, confused.

"It's gonna be the 24th of August tomorrow!! You probably don't even remember..." she looked kinda sad.

I whacked my mad scientist brain trying to think what's so important about the 24th , but I couldn't think of anything.

She probably saw that I was panicking.

"Never mind I have a surprise planned tomorrow anyways so it might be better if you don't know now." She shrugged walking upstairs.

"Aw come on, just tell me!"  I begged following her.

"Nope!" she said nonchalantly popping the 'p', "You'll just have to wait."

"Spoilsport."

"You'll thank me later."

I chuckled while unbuttoning my lab coat and pulling off my gloves and climbing into the bed next to hers.

"Goodnight Duncan."

"Goodnight Kim."

As I drifted off to sleep I wondered if she remembered that just about a day ago I was holding her in my arms sleeping, and longed for that sense of warmth again. Because even under the warm covers she's the only source of warmth that can warm my ice cold heart.

I love you Kim, and I wonder when I would ever tell you that.