Tick, Tock

Happy 2013 everyone! Just in time for the new year, here's a short story. I pinky promise, if you like Bronwyn and Thatcher, you're going to like Rowan and Wesley. May your year be merry and bright!

Tick, Tock

1. Write my New Year’s resolutions.

 

I chewed on my eraser thoughtfully, my eyes going in and out of focus. It looked like writing my resolutions was going to be harder then expected. Probably not the best idea to have left it four hours fifty minutes and twenty six seconds before the official end of the worst year of my pitifully short life. Not that anyone was counting.

That reminds me.

2. Stop being so pessimistic about, well, everything.

 

Two down, eight to go.

It’s been a family tradition for, well, ever, to write down your ten goals for the New Year. Usually they never actually got accomplished, but in my house, it’s the thought that counts. I think it’s ironic and contradictory that my father’s two favorite phrases happen to be ‘it’s the thought that counts’ and ‘all it takes is a little elbow grease.’

I tried to point it out once, and no one got it. Go figure.

 3.

This was where I got stuck, every time. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I’m never going to accomplish any of the good goals I’ve been writing down for the past seventeen years. I'm never going to brush my teeth five times a day or teach a chimp sign language. Heck, I'm never even going to meet a chimp, since my travel funds are limited to what I can make ringing up groceries. So what’s the point? There isn’t one. Exactly.

I threw my pen down in defeat, crumpled up my piece of paper, and tossed it in the general direction of the trashcan, watching as it helplessly bounced off the rim.

See? Even if I wrote down ‘throw away my New Year’s resolutions’ I would fail at it.

But if I wrote it down, I wouldn’t have thrown it away (or attempted to), and I wouldn’t have come up with it in the first place.

Gah. Paradoxes get on my nerves, along with a whole other list of things. Dill pickles, people who walk slow, and zippers that don’t zip are just a few, off the top of my head. It's an ever-growing list, physically compilied on old math tests and sticky notes.

“Herinnering, voor Zaterdag, eenendertig December,” my phone announced, scaring me, pardon my French, shitless. I had completely forgotten about, first of all, the reminder, and that I had, in fact, switched my default language to Dutch. Just to add a little spice to my life. So far, it was working far too well, and I had the deah-defying fast paced heartbeat to prove it.

“Halen Gertrudeop de luchthaven,” it said once I had pressed a few buttons. Dad had gotten me an iPhone for Christmas, and I still only knew how to turn it on and switch the language. Useful, no?