Depression: I am not sure it holds me.
People get trapped and healing become elusive.There has to be a road to healing
Not this certain part to perdition
Me: I should heal, I am a stallion.
When it gets dark all I think about is you. When daylight comes all that comes to mind is also you. It used to be of fond memories, laughter and peace. Now its fear, melancholy and loss. I remember no merries. Why not?
I have to be strong, my heart tells me, but my heart, it can only take so much. I am bleeding from every opening, the drain goes deep, the pain fever pitch. Now I am gasping for breath, the air thin, yet heavy and scarce.
I don't recognize you anymore, yes.
Those beautiful eyes, luscious lips and dreamy eyes and peaceful disposition. Its all taken flight. In its place is hate profound and hostility stretched. I never thought the day would come when all this would be the truth. The memo of adulthood didn't come on time.
Me, a stranger in a ship I once cruised. I am starring at the mirror, a wide gash prevails. I am watching, a full drain in place, one ounce of life gone at a time.
I never saw the end, not this near, not now, not this fatal. I had us pegged for a lifetime, not a fleeting time.
I had taken my time, dotted all the lines, crossed all the Tees,
Life so sweet, yet so unbearably cruel.
Yet colors, peach and green, favorites in time past, are still in view. There is cream, the tasty kind, yet in my mouth, a bile taste. In full view of life, no life is found, not for me. I can't seem to find any ray ahead.
A drop too many: Tears trickling free. Pouring from my eyes are cold drops. This is no sorrow, this is saying that I am done. No more, my limbs are numb. My heart drained. Darkness, in full display. Deep, dark and sinking. Death, so friendly, its quicksand.
The nooze has found my neck.
My last strength kicks the stool.
May it be quick, another pain enroute is cruelty even for my last breath.
One way or another, one fair moment is all I ask. A snap and I am gone. Death to gloom.
To die in peace.
To find peace.
May afterlife be kind.
My sorrow: my penance paid in full.
I know what will happen.
You will judge me, in your terms.
I am smiling now, dead in my terms, knowing your judgment will never find me, knowing that my eyes are closed and my ears have become deaf. I am gone.
Now, feel free to have it all.
In Peace, constantly, till the year of the lord.
