The Little Scared Girl.

That Stormy Night

ONCE I was feeling so lonely and I was feeling really bad .... there was alot of burden to handle ... my heart was sinking in to a big ocean of water drops coming out of my eyes ... many of you name it as tears .... but I want to call them water drops in this way I won't be able to feel that I was actually crying in the middle of a stormy night ...

So only to make my heart feel that you still have to live in this crul I thought to write each and everything which happened in my life in a diary .... I wanted that if I die one day then who ever gets my diary will be able to understand that how I 've lived this life .... how I 've felt about my life all these years which I 've lived ..

There was no light that night so I thought to use some candles but as I opened my drawer I saw there was only one candle so for a little moment I wanted to forget the idea of writing a diary ... but then I couldn't control myself and with the help of match stick I manage to lighten up the room with tha candle ....

And I opened the very first page of that dairy and started writing ....

So here I am telling a diary about how I actually feel ....... !!!
I am always been a kind of girl who have been scared of her own feelings .... I dont knw if it's a normal and natural fact or it's because my past keeps poping into my mind creating a feeling _ a feeling of losing everything _ everyone I 've ever loved ....

To feel this way can creat a lot of things go bad in life ... can also make you a bad and monstrous person ...

I want to believe that this is not gonna happen everytime ... this all is not for life, things might change, things will change ... I just wanted someone to make me believe this ....

But here I go again feeling the same way I am use to ....

18 big and tragic years of my life been like hell ... I' ve been through alot and may be that's why I feel this way ...
Sometimes I think it's because God loves me so much that's why He is testing me .. and making me go through this crazy life ....

And ;

Sometimes my life makes me think that only God knew that in future I was about to be a bad person that's why I 've been chosen for this messy life ..

It's just that I don't know about anything _ that what He has decided for me ........

I am waiting for some miracles to happen but is it right to think this way ? Means everyone knows that miracles happens in life but I just doubt in my case _ that my life is so messy that these miracles type things won't happen in my case ....

And then there was the time when the wax of that candle finished and I was not able to write anymore ...

But to be really honest it felt really good and relax to put some burden of my heart into some pages of that little diary .....

This is just a start ... I hope you like this chapter, it is just an introduction of what this girl feels ....
For more details that why does this girls feels this way keep on reading my story ....

Thankyou :*

And Do give your reviews about what would you guys would like in this story ....