Parents vs The Kids

Friday Night Funkin' the Musical

"This is my favorite club in town! You're gonna love it!" Girlfriend says as she brings her boyfriend in by the arm. I followed close behind, making sure they wouldn't get into trouble. I catch a glimpse of a familiar face, and smirk. "Well, look what the cat coughed up!" I say as father walks out.

"Dad?! What are you doing here?!" Adriana asks. "Just enjoying some jams. Looks like I'm not the only one." He says, making eye-contact with Boyfriend. "Oh hey! It's good to meet you. I'm, uh-" Father cuts him off, avoiding his handshake while saying, "Up past your bed time?" "No?" He replies, confused. "You like music, Mr Bed Time?" He asks, tossing him a microphone.

"Wouldn't be here if I didn't." He replies, catching it. "Dad! You're doing the weird, uh, music battle against my new boyfriend thing again." Girlfriend says, laughing nervously as she walks up to him. "How about we do a little... Duet, dude?" Father asks. Boyfriend glances at me, asking, "Is... This a thing?" "Only in our family." I sigh. Father walks up to Boyfriend, singing.

"Do you smoke? Do you drink? Do your armpits tend to stink? Why'd you dye your messy hair? Do you change your underwear?" He asks. Girlfriend and I sigh in unison. "Sorry, we should really go. We were here to see a show. Meeting you's been such a treat! Yo, your dad is super sweet." Boyfriend sings back, turning to us. I start trying to usher them out, when he grabs my shoulder, causing them to stop.

"Maybe I wasn't clear. You three are staying here. Tell me about your work. You got a job, you little jerk?" Father asks, turning away from me and grabbing Boyfriend's shirt. "Yeah about that- No sir, I'm still in school. Learning is pretty cool! One day, with my degree-" Boyfriend gets cut off by father as he recovers from being pushed away. "You'll never be as good as me!"

"Not everything's a competition." I mutter under my breath. Suddenly, both of them start singing together, but different lyrics. Father is singing, "No one dates my daughter till they earn the right! I don't know you, I don't like you, There's no chance I might. And nothing brings me more malicious and depraved delight, than to bury Girlfriend's boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night!" While Boyfriend is singing, "This may seem impolite, but we were not planning to invite our parents. Don't take this as a slight. Enjoy the rest of your funkin' Friday night." I sigh, and run over to the other curtain where Father came from along with Girlfriend.

"Going somewhere, cutie?" Mother asks, stopping me in my tracks. "Mom?!" Girlfriend exclaims. "If your father terrorizing your boyfriend again? Don't worry. I'll handle it from here." She says, taking Boyfriend's microphone. "Do you spit or pick your nose? Own a gun? Wear women's clothes? Suck your thumb or bite your nails?" She asks, leaning near boyfriend. "Get beaten up by alpha males?!" Father asks. Mother points the mic at Boyfriend for him to answer.

"Listen, Lady-" "Call me Mom~" She replies. "Okay, normally, I'm much more calm, but tonight they're on a date, so all these questions gotta wait!" I say, splitting them up. "Got any moles or warts?" Father asks, grabbing one of Boyfriend's wrists. "Rashes of any sort?" Mother continues, grabbing his other arm.

"Do you eat human meat? Suckle at the devil's teat?" They asks, getting up in Boyfriend's face. "What does that even mean?! I'm just a normal teen!" He replies. Father shoves him up against the wall. "Do you know the Muffin Man?!" He shouts. "Or have a Roth retirement plan~?" Mother asks.

"No one dates our daughter till they earn the right! We don't know you, We don't like you, There's no chance we might! And nothing brings us more malicious and depraved delight than to bury Girlfriend's boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night!" Mother and Father sing as Boyfriend sings, "This may seem impolite, but we were not planning to invite our parents... Don't take this as a slight. Enjoy the rest of your funkin' Friday night."