nct one-shots

Vulnerable~Winwin

I wish I know what went on in your mind. You don't want to let me in. No matter how much I try, it's practically useless. I don't think you understand how vulnerable I feel around you.

Dong Sicheng, my boyfriend, who I just don't seem to get as he wasn't very open or expressive. We had began dating a year back when I had made the first move and confessed. He said yes to the confession of course. Even to this day I wonder why he said yes to me. Did he even like me back? Did he accept out of pity?

I really could not tell with him but I knew what I had signed up for when confessing to him. When we hang out together, it's almost as if he isn't even there. He's so quiet, his face stays the same, and he's so still. I know it sounds as if I am overreacting but he isn't like this with everyone.

When he is with his friends, he is the complete opposite of what I just described. He smiles and laughs while messing around with the others. I would complain but it makes me so happy to see him smiling and laughing like that. However I am just so tired of not being able to make him happy like that. So maybe I should just stop trying so hard. Who knows, he might finally break it to me that our relationship is just a joke.

My thoughts are interrupted by keys jingling and the door being opened along with laughs and yelling. I look towards the noise to find Winwin and his friends coming in to take their shoes off in the hallway. I had already done what he had asked of me earlier to prepare snacks, drinks, and the game console.

The boys walked into the living room giving me my cue to leave and go into my room. All 6 greeted me with wide smiles and warm hugs. Sicheng on the other hand, went to go change without greeting me. Ten, one of Sicheng's friends, notice this and pulled me aside.

"Y/n, are you and Winwin okay? Is there anything going on between you two?" He asked with his hands on my shoulder. That's the problem, there isn't anything going on. I put that thought to the side and smiled at Ten

"Everything is just fine, Ten. I'm just tired and I'm sure he is too." I took his hands off my shoulder and walked towards the bedroom that Sicheng was now leaving. He stopped in front of the bedroom door to look at me walk into the room. I sat down on the bed only to see him staring with the same blank expression I get whenever I see him.

"Go, they're waiting for you. I already prepared everything." I stated blankly pulling the blanket over my body with my back facing Sicheng who was a bit taken aback since I never talk to him this way. I hear him sigh while closing the door. I wait for the sound of the footsteps to slowly fade and began to fall asleep.

A few hours later, I wake up to hear the boys having fun in the living room. I take a peek outside to see Sicheng and Lucas laughing together as they usually do. I walk back to the bed with thoughts flooding my mind and tears beginning to stream down my face. I don't get it, what is wrong with me? Why can't I make him smile? Why can't I leave him if he is hurting me this bad? Why did I get so attached? Why am I so vulnerable?

So many thoughts were running through my head that I didn't notice Yangyang standing at the door with some snacks and a water bottle in his hand. He walks in to tap me on my shoulder.

"Y/n, why are you crying? Does Winwin hyung know you're crying? Should I go get him right- " I cut him off.

"No! No, I'm fine really, I accidentally hit my foot against the bed," I lied while wiping my tears.

"You're a terrible liar," Another voice said out of nowhere. Me and Yangyang turn our attention to Sicheng who's standing at the door with his arms crossed.

"You guys, let's go to the living room and give these two some time," Kun said while removing Yangyang from the room. Sicheng sat next to me and stared at me waiting for an explanation. I sigh and begin explaining my thoughts to him.

"You know, I just don't get it. You confuse me so much and it hurts. We have little to no interaction when we're together. I see how you are with your friends, the way you laugh and smile. Even after a year of being together, you haven't shown me the slightest grin," I pause starting to tear up,"Sicheng, why are we even dating if it's just one sided? I can't even tell if you give the slightest shit about me. I care and love you so much that I don't have the courage to break up with you. You make me feel so vulnerable and I allow myself to be this way."

He doesn't say anything but pulls me in placing his chin on my head. Without even knowing it, I begin to cry even more than before. "I want to hate you so much, so why can't I?" I asked him.

"I'm so sorry" he starts, "I'm sorry I made you feel this way. I took too long to realize how much I was actually able to trust myself to love you. You could have left me if you wanted but you stayed knowing you would have to endure so much pain. I didn't mean for you to wait this long, I had accepted your confession for a reason. I have loved you since the day I met you. I just needed time, but I took too long making you feel vulnerable. I'm so sorry and I love you," he tightens the hug while I dry my tears.

"Can you forgive me, love?" He pulls away to look at me. I chuckle and punch him in the chest "Of course, but I still hate you." He raised an eyebrow closing the gap between us causing my face to heat up.

"No you don't, you're already blushing and I haven't done anything to you," he throws me off enough to quickly peck my lips. Before I can react, the door flies open with 6 nosy men stacked on top of each other.

"So uh you guys make up?" Lucas asked with a cheeky smile. "We were having a moment!" Sicheng whines. He looks back at me and holds both of my hands in his.

"I love you"

"I love you too"
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Oh my god that was painful to write. I wanted an angst kind of thing but I realized that I don't like how it feels to read angst (even tho I read them anyways)