Chapter Thirty Eight

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Chapter Thirty Eight

I couldn't stop laughing as Dex opened the door to our room and pulled me inside.

"I can't believe you did that!" I had to lean against the wall to keep from falling over. My face was red, and tears were running in rivers down my cheeks. "Did you see the look on their faces when you...when you smeared that dog turd..."

It was too much. I collapsed on the couch, grabbing one of the pillows and screaming into it because laughter just couldn't cut it anymore. I felt Dex sit down beside me, but I couldn't look up from my pillow yet. When I finally did, though, I found him looking back at me with that same pleasantly lost expression I'd been catching on his face all night.

"You're beautiful when you laugh," he said. Then he blinked, like he hadn't realized what was coming out of his mouth, and cleared his throat. "Not that you aren't always beautiful, but, you know...just...especially right now?"

I smirked and felt my cheeks tingle. "Thanks. And you were right. I do feel better. I haven't laughed like this since..."

"Since before you met me."

A little bit of the laughter shriveled up and died. "What? No! I just meant that..."

"No, I get it. And I don't blame you." He gave me a smile. "Your life's been pretty crappy over the past few years, huh?"

I raised my legs and hugged my knees. "That's an understatement."

He sighed. "And I'm sorry. You're the last person in the world who deserved any of this. But for what it's worth..."

His voice trailed off, and I looked up at him. "What?"

"Never mind."

"No, really!" I leaned towards him. "Tell me!"

He swallowed and looked back at me, his cheeks already turning a little bit red from whatever it was he was about to say. "Amber, I...I'm just glad that I could be the one to put a smile back on your face."

I didn't say anything, and he didn't look away. For a long minute, we just stared at each other. What happened now?

Kiss him, you idiot! my common sense yelled at me.

My heart skipped a beat. Did I want that? I'd had fun with Dex tonight, don't get me wrong, but...I dunno, kissing at the end of it felt like signing a contract. Like I was agreeing without words to be his girlfriend. I wasn't sure yet if that was what I wanted. I liked Dex. I liked him a lot. But until yesterday I hadn't given my love life a thought in years. There was always something more important to worry about, usually along the lines of not getting killed. Now that the prospect was back on the table—and right in front of me—I didn't know what to do, or think, or feel.

He's been so good to you, that voice whispered. Better than you'd ever deserve. Don't pretend that means nothing to you.

It didn't mean nothing. It meant everything. Words couldn't express how thankful I was for his friendship over the past three years. Without him there to make me smile and laugh, living with Hendricks would have driven me to either insanity or suicide within a month.

But did I love him for it?

I began to think. I'd already kissed him once. Or, rather, he had kissed me. It had been nice, I guess. I wasn't exactly an expert on kissing. But the memory sent a warm, fuzzy tingle through me. One thing was for sure: no matter what my decision was, I did want to kiss him again.

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