I See It in Your Eyes (you'll be alright) 》SaTzu✔

chapter 17.

Sana stood beneath the shelter provided by the extended roof of the hospital as she breathed in deep lungfuls of the cool, damp air surrounding her. It had thankfully stopped raining not long before she had been discharged, but the atmosphere made it clear that a reprisal was imminent. Still, it was admittedly a nice change from the stuffy, chemical-laced smell of the hospital that she had been surrounded by for the last half a dozen days. She watched intently as some of the rain from earlier ran along the gutter before dripping down onto the path nearing the drain. She was stood on her own, a bunch of congratulatory balloons in one hand and her hospital bag in the other as she waited for Tzuyu to bring the car around front to pick her up. It felt like some sort of cruel joke.

She felt like shit. She was in pain, she was completely exhausted and she was heartbroken about leaving Sei behind. Sana had managed to keep it together the entire morning, kissing Sei goodbye and promising to be back as soon as she could. She had kept it together whilst she had watched Tzuyu pack up her clothes and pajamas and everything else that she'd had with her at the hospital over the last week. She had been alright as she had listened to the nurse talking her through the aftercare for her surgery that she recommended she do at home. It wasn't until she was safely guided into the passenger seat of the car by Tzuyu, who gently helped her put her seat belt on before kissing the top of her head and closing the door, that she finally lost it.

The sight of the hospital fading away, getting smaller and smaller with each passing second, in the rearview mirror finally set off the flow of tears that Sana knew had been building up all morning. Her scientific brain knew that it was her hormones coupled with the exhaustion, she was a mess of feelings and it was completely normal, but her mom brain didn't care. It felt like the worst thing in the world, she didn't want to leave her baby behind. Sei was supposed to be here with them, tucked up all cozy in her brand-new car seat that Tzuyu had installed in the back of both of their cars. Instead, there were just some stupid balloons and an empty seat.

"I love you," Tzuyu told her as she reached over and took Sana's hand in her own, unable to comfort her wife any further until they arrived home and she no longer had to focus on the road. "She's safe and she's exactly where she needs to be right now." she soothed a thumb over the top of Sana's hand.

Sana knew that Tzuyu was right, she really did, but it didn't make her feel any better. The rest of the drive home was miserable. She had known that it was going to be difficult to leave Sei behind, but she had no idea just how hard it truly would be. She had been with Sana literally her entire life. Sana's room had only been a short walk to the NICU and she was welcome to come and go as she pleased, she still was. The nurses had insisted that all parents were welcome to visit at any hour, day or night and that they could stay as long as they wanted, but it just wasn't the Same. Sana would have to leave her baby every single time. She would have to walk away and go home without her. She never had to worry about that when Sachi was born, Sana hadn't let her out of her sight and barely out of her arms for the first six months of her life, but now she was expected to just walk away and leave her baby behind.

Sachi was still at school when they eventually pulled up in the driveway. The hospital was only a few miles away, a twenty-minute drive at the very most depending on how the traffic was, but it felt like the longest drive of Sana's life, and she was so glad that Sachi wasn't there to witness her crying the entire journey.

"Come on, let's get you inside." Tzuyu smiled reassuringly at Sana before letting go of her hand and rounding the car to help her get out.

The pain from her c-section was still on the intense side, and Sana felt a sudden, overwhelming rush of affection for her wife as she patiently helped her spin her legs around and climb out of the passengers seat of the car. It took longer than Sana would care to admit, but Tzuyu never once rushed her. She simply waited until Sana told her what she needed, and was then immediately on hand to provide it.