How To Self Harm

Hi.

Call me Kay.

I've been self harming for three years now.

...

It started in year six which is fifth grade,  when I was bullied and became very depressed. Days on end filled with overwhelming sadness, numbness, and a pain I couldn't place. I developed an eating disorder from that as a way to cope, Anorexia Nervosa as some of you may know (which I can proudly say I'm almost cured -- it's a daily battle that I'm going to have to fight for the rest of my life) and then I started cutting.

I still cut.

I do.

But I'm not here to tell you my sob story. I'm here to tell you -- all the young girls and guys out there suffering with any of these illness's that IT GETS BETTER. I promise you. I promise you. I promise you.  And just because I don't know you, just because we cant see each other doesn't mean I cant be there for you. Because I am. I AM HERE FOR YOU, BEAUTIFUL. NOW, DONT GIVE UP, PLEASE. KEEP GOING. KEEP FIGHTING.

Recovery ... is so .. so worth it.

You are all beautiful -- don't shake your head and dismiss it because its fucking true. Have empathy for yourself, for all you put your body through. You've known what real pain is, you've suffered through hell it's time you start taking care of your body now. So, please, put down that blade and realize that YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER  THAN THAT, you DESERVE hugs and kisses and a good fucking life. You DESERVE to realize that pain is not the only thing that is real. Love is real. Love is very fucking real. And its going to be okay. Its all going to be okay. And if you need me to say it more times because that's what you need to hear than I'll gladly say it again and again and again. ITS GOING TO BE OKAY, ITS GOING TO BE OKAY, ITS GOING TO BE OKAY, ITS GOING TO BE OKAY. I'm here for you, all of you. Because your not hopelessly shattered but beautifully broken. And I KNOW you can beat this -- I fucking know it. Please, I need you to read this every time you get the urge, every time your thinking about throwing up your food, restricting whatever it is.  Please, please, please. Because you ARE NOT DEFINED by the size of your jeans, the numbers on a scale, the blade, the pills -- you define you. I want you to know that people in your life may leave you, but I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE. I don't care that I don't know you or that we've never met. I care about you. Yeah, I really really do. I'll say it again if it'll make you feel better -- heck, I'll say this a thousand times if it makes you feel better. I CARE ABOUT YOU, I CARE ABOUT YOU, I CARE ABOUT YOU. So think of your loved ones, think of me when your next meal comes, or the next time you get the urge.

Now, if your thinking about self harming PLEASE DO NOT. It'll screw up your whole life up. It really will. You are so much BETTER THAN THAT. Please, take my word for it and stay clear from that. Think positive -- know that life DOES GET BETTER. And that you will be okay. Everything will get sorted out, YOU WILL BE OKAY.

REMEMBER : YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL (INSIDE AND OUT), I CARE ABOUT YOU,  AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. YOU CAN DO THIS <3 3="">