Mania +All American+

Chapter 12: Essays

(A/N. What are yalls opinions of my OCs?)

"Alright class, it's time to give back your essays."

He got to mine and smiled as he handed it to me. I looked and saw an A at the top of it. The assignment was to write about someone or something that most affected my life. It was a personal essay, much personal then my brothers.

"Yo, Jade what you get?" Spencer asked as we left the class.

"A. You?"

"Incomplete. Man I hate this teacher," he grumbled and walked off.

I laughed after him and met up with my boyfriend. I jumped on his back and he took me to algebra. Jordan was saying that we are disgusting, I'm just glad he likes me. I've given him plenty of reasons for him not to like me.

Once the day was over I went to Beverly so me and Zan could work on our duet. Surprisingly, after everything, we have great chemistry.

Once we were done we sitting on the ground drinking Gatorade. It's been awkward and silent. I was okay with that, I guess he wasnt.

"Thank you for not turning me in," he whispered.

"I wouldnt."

"I'm sorry Jade. I didn't know who he was or who you were. I just want us to he normal again," he begged.

"I dont think we can ever go back to normal again Zan."

"I understand."

A few minutes later our crew came and we practiced hard. Our competition was in two weeks. Becuase of my rehab we fell a bit behind. We are coming down to the wire perfecting every little motion.

"Jade Evalynn James!" I heard the voice of my mom cause my to mess up my flip and fall.

"Motherfucker," I mumbled from the ground.

Fresno walked over and helped me up.

"I told you no dancing," she yelled at me then turned to zan,"I dont want you around those people."

"I want to legally become an adult," i snapped.

"Excuse me!" She yelled.

"I have the paper work. I was going to bring it up and dinner but i cant deal with this shit anymore," I said calmly.

"Who's gonna pay for all your medical Bills. Your medicine!" She yelled,"you need me!"

"No. I dont."

"Fine. But dont come to me when you need anything. When those meds quit working. They always seem to quit working with you Jade. And then it will be too late."

She left and my entire studio was silent. I had to compose myself. I was planning on that conversation going a little bit differently.

"Alright. Time to get back to work," I said pushing myself of fresno and turning on our music.

After practice JJ picked me up and we went back to his house. We turned on movie and I spent the night. JJ knows what I'm doing and has already told me I could stay with him. But I cant stay in that house anymore. It's too much.

Too many strict rules. Too much freedom taken away. Too much lies. Too much love that is only meant for my brothers. I am done with it.

"Sleep. Your solo and duet qualifiers are tomorrow. "

"Howd the game go tonight babe?" I asked him.

"It went okay, we won. We are in the championship," he said kissing my forehead.

"Good."

I laid my head on his chest and fell asleep. Surprisingly me and JJ havent slept together. Unlike me and shawn a part of our relationship wasnt based on our sex life. Its deep. More personal.

Time skip competition.
Italics are her essay, like they did in the show.

I kept throwing up today. My nerves were shot. I dont know why, it's only qualifiers. I dont know who's more scared, me or zan. He knows that this is his last shot at a normal career. A normal life.

Dance is all he has. And it's the only thing keeping me sane.

My greatest influence is many things. My mom, my brother, and my illness. You would the think that one of those things would be the biggest thing in my life, but it isnt. My biggest influence is honestly what everyone's else is. My choices.

Me and Zan heard our names called and we stepped onto the stage.

"Dont fall," I told him.

"I wont."

If anyone knows anything about bad decisions it's me. I ignore bad feelings and warning signs that meds wear off. Instead of facing it I turn to drinking, drugs, and partying. I guess it's why I almost died twice.

Me and him were killing our preformance. There was no touching us. We I didnt a flip and landed it I saw two eyes I never expected to see again.

My dads.

I chose to be in a toxic relationship with a toxic boy becuase he told me he lived me. I wanted to believe a man could love me becuase I always felt my dad didnt. And here recently my mom too. So relying a toxic situation was what was best for me. Or atleast it's what I told myself.

I went to do another move and fell, shell shocked by my father. Zan grabbed my and made it look like it was supposed to happen.

"Just finish the dance. He doesnt deserve the opportunity to ruin this for you."

I nodded my head and continued dancing. My face had no more emotion but I got through it. I finished the dance and we made it through. The problem was I had to get my mind in gear for solos.

But I've also made good decisions. I chose to have good friends who have stood by me in everything. I forgave my brother and now we help eachother through everything. But I know ive made more bad decisions then good ones. That's my problem. My influence. The rush from my bad decisions and acting like the repruccussions arent something I deserve. I have to change.

I got up and preformed my solo routine. In the moment nothing else mattered. Not my dead friends, not my lying parents, not my friends, just me.

And this dance. And I killed it. I made it through. Once I got off stage i threw up again. Nerves of today were brutal. I can only imagine what they will be like next week. But that is a side effect of my meds, anxiety.

So if theres anything that this paper has taught me. Its quit ignoring signs and make the difficult decisions.