My Soulmate

Life before fame

 Before I was even born, my dad left my mom saying he wasn't ready. Fucking coward, after that my mom took care of me, I was pretty sure she was the only person that actually loved me. Then a couple year later when I was about 5 my mom got married to another person. I didn't like him, he would hit me and my mother and would sometimes molest me. When she tried to leave, he got very angry. He beat her and put her in the hospital, I was terrified. I didn't know if I was next , so I followed his orders. Every little thing that he made me do was so disgusting, I couldn't wait until my mom got here. This kept going on for many years, until one day when  I was 15 I ran away. I asked my friend, Maddy if I could stay with her family. She was the first person I ever opened up to about. I told her what I went through and why I left. So when she asked her parents  if I could stay they immediately said yes, After that they pulled me aside and said "that no child should ever have to go through that." So you stayed with her and her family until I was 18. I always kept contact with my mother, after I left. She always told me never to come back for her, even though I pleaded for her to come with me she said no. She said that she wanted to keep me safe, and to live a happy life. I cried ever single time she told me that, but that is what made me into the strong women that I am today. I told her everything and tried to see her a few times but she  would shut you down, saying no. That I was not allowed to come back, I always  worried for her safety. So when I turned 18 and graduated, I decided that I wanted to be an actor, so that you and your mom could live together and be happy. So that is exactly what you did, you kept trying to reach your goal. During this time you got a boyfriend. His name was Erick, he was sweet and kind, but when you started to date things got rough. After awhile of dating he would always leave during random times, stop giving you so much affection, and stopped being intimate with you. When you brought up the subject he didn't want to answer. So I said "if you don't tell me what is going on with you I'm leaving." His head immediately shot up, and he tried to reach you so he could hug you. But I stepped back waiting for his answer.  He then said he was sorry and he started to explain how busy and stressed he was with work and how he has been having a rough time. Me being me said oh baby, why didn't you tell me I could have helped you. Then from their he know he could manipulate me and get away with it. It worked for a while until I caught him in the act, he was on top of some random girl having sex with her. I stared at them for a couple seconds, I tried to hold back on the tears that wanted to come out. It felt like I couldn't breathe, like my lungs just collapsed. I  then said having fun, he turned around and started to apologize but I knew this time that what he was saying was a lie. He didn't actually love me like I loved him, he only used me. I then started screaming at both of them telling them to get out repeatedly, with tears coming down your face. I felt so gross, and felt like I wasn't good enough, maybe I didn't deserver love. I mean look at how fucked up I am, so I sat there crying for hours until I fell asleep on the floor.