The Little Scared Girl.

My Isolation.

While on my way to college many things going on my mind so i took out my diary and open the very next page and started writing ... wrote about my nightmare and after then the things popping in my;

After what happened last night the very first thing which is tickling me is the last stormy night _ it was really wild ,full of dark clouds, the lightening and the horrifying voices of the clouds ... and right now the sun shining in way as if last night never happened .....
Secondly the nightmare which I saw last night _ whispering of that flower in my ear ....
The question raising in my mind is ;can both of this incidents can inter relate eachother ?

And there I reach my college ...
By the way to let you know that college is the only place where I feel so isolated ... and I am a kinda of college sick person ..
Now the question raising in your mind is why ? Cause it's like _ only an insane person can think like this for such a crowded place ...
But in my life it's true ... I don't have friends here ...
It's not because nobody wanted me as their friends but it's because I can't let anyone in my messy life, alot of my old experience has let me to make this decision, I can't repeat history I can't let anyone now hurt me _ I just can't allow them to do it again .. I am fragile and a little more heart break will leave me with no heart ....

All my life I'd been trusted too much and also trusted the wrong people .... this all started happening in my old school life ...

I'll write about my old school life soon but right now whats making me write in a rush is that my class gonna start in the next 10mins and I don't wanna be late .....

In this college alot of people or you can say that all the people thinks that I am some weirdo or nerd type but it doesn't bothers be anymore now why do I think about others when all those 18years of my life none of them thought of me like once ....

If you think I am weird then trust me I am fine with it ... I've three most important people in my life and I love them ....

My heart is really fragile and it can't take the same stree like before anymore ....
I can give you a little hint about what happened in old school life ...
First my trust was been broken by my besties then I fell for the wrong guy and got my heart broken and whatever was left I brooke it my self physically .....
Yes! I've done alot of stupid things cause the burden in my heart was too much to carry and it has to come out with my blood ....

I wasn't a perfect face in school so these things were suppose to happen even I saw it coming a long time ago but it was the mistake of my stupid which kept on telling me that nothing is impossible in this world .... Everything can be yours .. what you have to do is to be confident over what you decide ... and this believe had lend me to kill the inner ME ...

It is too much for a second day so I let you think what must' ve gone wrong in my case till then I should be getting into my class ...

In a rush keeping the diary into my bags pocket I ran for my class ....

This whole writing diary has taken me to such an obsession that while I was taking my class my mind was still in the diary, my eyes continued looking at my bag and my ears just were dying to hear the bell ring .....

But it actually had been only 20mins in class and this class was like 1 hour class so the thought of being here for more 40mins made me feel more alone and lonely in this class room ....

And then somehow my wait was over and these 40mins passed like they were 40 months ... hehe yeah it sounded something silly but what to do it's true ...