Keeps Us Apart

Prologue: Kills You Slowly

'I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet , but give me time . A day will come when you will think yourself safe and happy , suddenly your joy will turn into ashes in your mouth, and you will know the debt is paid.' 

 GEORGE R.R MARTIN, A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE.

Love .Venegence . Hatred . These are some very powerful words which a person treats very casually. I know that one day I have to face The End. But never in my wildest dream I imagined myself to be this nostalgic on the brink of death.

What used to keep me up all night long was something different though . I knew that it was partly the feeling of loneliness and longing, but the most of it was filled with nothing. It was void. Like a feeling of doing nothing. The thought of leaving this world unrecognised. The thought of being another one of those casualties which happen everyday. I was afraid that no one will remember me. Probably at the age  of seventy or eighty years , I will die alone in a dusty bed without anyone to hold my hand. But oh boy, how wrong was I . Destiny never leaves any loopholes.

Chrysanthemum.

A beautiful name for a beautiful flower. When mom died , I planted one of them in my garden and named her Emily . After my favourite poet. Her strange portrayal of death always used to intrigue me. And the day when the last chrysanthemum bloomed , I picked it up to store in my herbarium. She was already sick, dying slowly. I knew I couldn't keep her too. Just like mother.

But I preserved her remaining. A lone chrysanthemum. I remember the ugly sob erupting from my throat. But I knew that the same remaining which is making me cry today, will make me feel good after a long time. I will learn to cherish whatever is left.

After all nothing is lost forever. Or is it? This unbearable urge to jump in his arm when he will impale me with his sword of venegence; is that even healthy?

I have always wondered which part of my biological mother is left behind. Now I understand. This kind of Love. Ironically it drove both of us insane.

I stared at person in front of me . How he unlocked the safety clutch.

Love , hatred , betrayal everything fades away with time. But regret never fades . The longer it exists , the stronger it gets. It kills you slowly.