Arcade[sunakita]

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7:12 pm

𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷

As I was watching suna leave out the door,i just stayed heart broken, like I felt.. empty. It hurts watching someone you loved leave your life forever, especially when you've been with them for a long time.
I just cried after he left, I've never felt like this before, I don't want to feel this anymore. I thought, "what did I do? Is there something wrong with me".I kept crying that night.

𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
It hurted leaving Kita, but it was the right thing to do. I know he needs someone better, I know he needs to be love, but, I'm just not right for that. As I was leaving I heard crying, that's the part that hurted me the most.

As I saw my mom getting out the car trying to  help me with the bags, I told her "no,it's okay I got it". I put the bags in the trunk and went into the car without saying goodbye to Kita, I cried a little and I felt so bad about myself like I was the bad guy. But, my mom didn't know the situation about me and Kita, so I told her in the car. "Mom?"
"Yes sweetie?"

"I need to tell you something, something I haven't told you since all of this happened"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Me and Kita, we broke up."

My mom stayed silent for a bit.
"Wait really? Why."

"Reasons." I said guilty.

-Tuesday, April,13,2021-

10:45 am

𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
I couldn't stop crying because of yesterday to the point where I cried myself to bed and starved, I didn't feel like eating, or even getting up.
But I stopped being so lazy and got up to eat.
Once I got done eating, I went to the bathroom trying not to think so much of what happened yesterday, but I couldn't stop all I could do is cry over the sink. I just wish I had time with his, why, why now. I whipped my tears and went outside with my ear buds in playing music while walking and refreshing my mind off of everything.

𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
I woke up with a weak soul like it was empty. When I got up to eat, I didn't see my mom nowhere surprisingly, I thought she would've been here.
I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and now having flashbacks of me and Kita eating breakfast together, i chuckled while thinking of that, missing how the things were between us. But lately Kita didn't seem happy being with me, so I did the right thing... I hope he understands.
After getting out of my imagination I went in my room to watch tv.

6:09

𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
I kinda somewhat felt better, but also apart of me just feels bad, i don't know how to describe it, it's like feelings mixed up together or like, changing a lot. But atleast my mind was off some things. I went to take a shower and get ready for bed.
As I got out the shower I went to bed alone, again, I'm still hurt.

-Wednesday, April 14, 2021-

2:05

𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
I went on my phone and wondered how Kita was doing so I texted him.
————————————————————————

Hey Kita, hru?: Me
  ᵈᵉˡⁱᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

Kita?: Me
ᵈᵉˡⁱᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

Kita answer me: Me
ᵈᵉˡⁱᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

————————————————————————

At that point I gave up trying to text him, but I was worried so I told my mom I'm going somewhere and took a train back to Kita's house.

𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
I looked off my screen from my tv and see  notifications surprisingly from suna. I picked up my phone and see the messages, I started to cry. "Did he just say " how are you" after he left me?" I thought to myself, "he seems happy tho, unlike me." I laughed in a sarcastic way and smirked a little with sad and tired eyes.

I went outside walk by the river and stopped for a second looking at the sunset shining in the water.
"looks pretty." I said to myself.

I thought to myself, "it's time, do it, jump. No one matters to you"

So I did, I pulled myself up in on the river bars and preparing myself to jump, that's when I suddenly heard a voice saying, "STOP, KITA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
I looked back to see who it was, I was shocked when it was suna, but that didn't stop me from jumping.

So I jumped into the river, drowning myself.

Suna walked up to the river and cried while saying.

".....I love you."