Phoenix of Dawn

Remembrance

The closer we came to Kristal the more the nightmares seeped into the day. We were safe behind the boarderd, the walls of the city looming before us and yet nothing felt safe at all. The woods cleared, opening up to flat terrain. On the far side of the city the fields were visible, their crops offering the bulk of Kristal's traded goods. It made sense that a city created for the sun would yield the best fruits and vegetables in Eden. 

In the distance the sound of waves crashing alerted me to the ocean. Somewhere out there was an island called Rava where the gray wolves had once reigned. I stared hard at the vast blue, unsure where the sky ended and the waves began. 

The tall grass swayed at mid-thigh, tickling my fingertips. Somehow the sun was hotter. Geographically it didn't make sense but it was like stepping into a green house. The sun was brighter, the air tasted sweeter, and even my grief seemed to lighten. 

It was like eternal summer. 

The feel of it hung in the air. The entire atmosphere was pleasant and completely opposite to what I'd experienced in the past. 

"Oh my gosh," Bex gushed from behind me, "Home! There's so many things I want to do. Eat at the pub, get a drink with real alcohol in it, dance... oh dancing!"

Her hand wrapped around my wrist, yanking me around in a spin. The grass bent under our feet, crinkling with the movement of our legs. 

This is what I loved about Bex. She might not always be the one to verbally break through my walls but she had a knack for pulling me out. Sometimes quite literally. 

She was laughing, the sound of it floating up toward the sky in an almost lyrical fashion. Her hypnotic energy was almost enough to make me forget about Axel leaving or Claira being dead. 

"Please say you'll go to the ceremony. There's an amazing afterparty and I promise to ply you with so much alcohol you'll forget you're in a dress."

"I've given it some thought," Nikko announced, "And I won't make you push back. We will be mated in a week."

I frowned.

While they celebrated I did the math quickly in my head. Even at top speed travel time wouldn't leave him more than a few days to solidify his dedication to Ky's army. That wasn't enough. How could he be back in a week?

"What about Axel," I asked looking up at Nikko.

His expression fell, "Axel misses things sometimes. Its no big deal. With what he does it would be impossible for him to never let someone down."

I hadn't really given much attention to how much I was looking forward to Axel being back until there wasn't a set time I knew he would be. Nikko was still talking, spouting off reassuring phrases that meant very little to me. 

Meandering off toward the back of the group I pondered over this new piece of information. Axel wouldn't be coming back for their mating ceremony so when would he? 

That morning's breakfast was churning over and over in my stomach until I was certain I'd barf up my the contents soon. Axel had been so reserved when saying goodbye. What had changed between him insisting he'd be back to his sudden uncertainty. Had I done something to make him question his return?

"Try not to think about it," Piper was lagging back beside me, "He always comes back."

"Until he doesn't."

I winced. This was his mother and I was telling her the likelihood that her eldest son may not come back this time. How did she do it? How did she continue to send him off time after time knowing the chances of him never coming back?