Hold My Hand

 **unedited**

   My hands clumsily button up my shirt as I bite my bottom lip.  Today was the first day of school and I was more than nervous because today marks the One Year Anniversary that me and my best friend had begun dating.  I have asked so many people what I should get him and a lot of them answered dinner and sex.  Funny thing is though, me and Damon haven't had sex yet.

   If you asked me why, I don't think I would be able to have a good explanation either.  I wasn't scared or anything I just haven't felt as if the time was right you know?  He respected that too, but even though he does it still nags at my tummy that maybe he is getting frustrated with me.  I love him so much, so to lose him would be the end to everything that is known and good to the world for me.

   Oh, yeah that's another thing I haven't done yet, tell him that I love him even though I do. I know, I know!  I'm falling really behind, but it was all just nerve racking on when the perfect time would be.  Not everyone like's to say it after two weeks, or in my case a whole year.  I feel it in my heart and soul, but I want the moment to be perfect!

   Grabbing my bag, I open the door to my bedroom and start down the stairs.  "I'm going now!"

   "Bye hun, have a good day at school!" My mom calls to me as I head out the front door, my head swimming with thoughts until I see the most familiar sight ever.  Damon sits in his truck, waiting for me like he does ever morning and when he sees me, the most beautiful smile spreads across his face that could strike down an army.  Oh God.

   Picking myself up as I hoist into the passenger seat, he leans across the center to give my cheek a kiss.  "Hey, sweets."  Taking his truck out of park we head down the street in silence after I return my own greeting.  Though, it wasn't a bad silence, it was a sweet silence.  One both of us enjoyed, because it was a time where both of us could be silent together, is that cheesy? Yeah, probably is and I've been rambling about him and me, but when I get started it's really hard to stop.

   "Hey, do you remember how I want to take you out to eat tonight?" He looks over at me.

   "Oh, yeah, I remember.  I even have an outfit planned for it, but the shirt is blue so if you had a color code planned you better tell me before both of us turn up un-matching."  He laughs and shakes his head.

   "No, no colors in particular."  Smiling he reaches across to grab my hand, that action alone gets my heart pumping still.  Oh God, I wish this was the time, but it wasn't.  It just wasn't the time I was waiting or to tell him that I love him.  Not yet. Wah.

   "You OK, seems like you got a lot  on your mind?"  He looks at me worriedly.

   "Yeah, I'm very OK today."  I reply, I reply to quickly and this sends him in alert.

   "You know you can tell  me anything, so what's to hide?"  He sighs.

   "I'm not hiding anything, I'm just a little nervous about tonight and before you say that there's nothing to be nervous about yes there is.  Because before we know it, Godzilla could raise himself out of that ocean just five miles out and ruin everything."  I frown.

   "Ha, I highly doubt that's going to happen though."  Tightening his grip, he laughs and turns into our school.  "But if it does, goddamn it I'm still taking you out to a nice place.  Like a hill or something, maybe even pack a picnic and we could watch the sunset while the city behind us goes down in agony.  We will be happy together."  He smiles and kisses me. "For now, let's get to school OK?"

   I nod, waiting for him to park his beast of a truck and jog around to my side to let me out.  Our hands tangling together when I shut the door.