Please Don't Go (The Story of Us Book 3)

Chapter 6- Recovering

TW: Mentions of abuse and sexual assault. Also, I am aware that everyone handles sexual assault differently and that Amanda may seem like it's not affecting her as much as it should but you have to remember that her trauma response is to compartmentalize. She wants to forget about it and focus on other things so it doesn't hurt as much. You also have to remember that she has been in similar situations twice before and that affects her reaction as well. Also, the fact that they are looking for her rapist and plan to do something about it, something a lot of women who are victims of sexual assault aren't assured of.

It takes about a month before they let Amanda out of the hospital. In that time, Spencer made an effort to be at the hospital as much as possible but that got harder once he was cleared to travel. He had tried to convince Hotch to let him keep working from the hospital but Amanda was insistent. She didn't want to keep him from his job and she feared that he might think she was clingy. Spencer attempted to argue but Amanda always was better at arguing than him so he went.

Kristen came immediately after Spencer told her he was leaving. When she walked in, she had a slight smile on her face. "Hey, Spence called and said he had to leave and asked me to stay with you." Amanda looked over from her activity of staring at the wall and sighed.

"I didn't realize you two were so close. Especially since you didn't tell him what happened," she mutters, giving Kristen a look, who sighs.

"Lacey didn't think it would be a good idea. She thought it would distract and upset him. The only one who knows is Emily and the three of us," she tells her.

"I figured. There was no rape kit on file in my chart. Someone had to have taken it out and you two wouldn't know to look."

"I'm sorry you had to tell him," she whispers, feeling heartbroken for her best friend.

"I didn't. He knew something was wrong when I flinched away from him. I used to do that when I first got to Caltech. It's weird. I know he would never hurt me, in fact, that's what I thought about while Foyet was...violating me," she chokes out, unable to say the word. "It didn't matter though. It was just the thought of someone touching me after what he did, it made me sick."

"How's that been?"

"Getting better. I even let the nurse help me with physical therapy so that my legs can actually hold my weight. I can actually walk around my room a couple of times and shower on my own now. It's good because Spencer can't support either one of our weights," she jokes and Kristen chuckles, taking a seat next to her bedside.

"So when do you get out of here? I know how much you hate hospitals."

"True but I can't leave unless I can walk. Who would've thought that the hardest part of getting stabbed and almost dying would be learning to walk because I was in a coma?" Amanda frowns at just how odd her situation is since she needs physical therapy to walk when Foyet didn't actually do anything to her legs or spine.

"Well just remember, you're Amanda Hotchner and no matter how much you fall, you always manage to get right back up, even if it takes a little bit of time." At those words, Amanda had smiled at her friend, starting to feel just the slightest bit better about her situation.

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By the time Amanda was finally able to leave the hospital, she could walk normally again but she was still hesitant about touch, especially from males. Spencer, however, as always, managed to be the exception. Maybe it was because of how safe just his simple words were or maybe it was because he insisted on sleeping on the couch of his own apartment while Amanda slept in his bed alone so that she would feel comfortable and unpressured.