No, I'm Just Delusional (Phan) RE-WRITE IN PROCESS

Tears Streaming Down My Face

Phil-

My head is spinning out of control. Dan storms out of the room. I shout after him but he is already down the hall. I'm so pathetic. What would Dan ever help someone like me. I'm a loser a nobody. I stand there with my head in my hands tears streaming down my face. I run to the bathroom. People laugh at me in the hall, I just keep running. I get to the bathroom and go into the stall next to the locked one. I start sobbing uncontrollably,and fall to the floor. the person next to me starts sobbing as well. Must be a bad day for the both of us. “Hello?” I hear shocking me. “Are you ok?” I am genuinely surprised. Someone actually cares. In that moment I then realise that they probably have no idea it's me and will leave as soon as they realise.

“Yes. I'm fine.” I reply hating how venerable I sound. I stay there for a minute waiting for a reply. I hear nothing and sigh. Just as I thought. I get up and open the door. The person in the stall next to me opens their door. Time to face the music.

It's Dan.

I am stunned. Stuck in place. His face is a mixture of worry, anger and I think he's as confused as me. We stand there for a couple of minutes. Dan sort of shakes his head and walks over to the taps and mirrors. He puts his hands on the sink and stares at me in the window.

“I saw you.” He startles me.

“What?” What could he of possibly seen?

“I saw you. At the park.” He looks down, anger on his face.

“What was at the par...” My words drift off as I realisation hits. “You were there.” It wasn't a question. “Yes. I saw everything.”

My insides turn cold and I panic. My heads goes crazy and I start to feel weak. “What do you think you were doing Phil?” Dan asks. I am so dizzy I barley notice that his tone has softened and he called me Phil. My vision starts to blur. I'm shaking now. Dan noticed somethings wrong and turns around takes a hesitant step towards me. “Phil,” He said it again. “ Are you ok?” I shake my head.

“No.” I croak. My legs give way and I fall. I expect to fell the hard ground but I am surprised when I am cradled in soft arms. I try and open my eyes but they refuse. Then I go blank.

Dan-

I was so shocked. I couldn't believe it. I stand looking at Lester in the mirror.

“I saw you,” I say startling him. I have no idea where this was going.

“What?” He replies. I can't help but get angry. How could he do this.

“I saw you. At the park.” I look down. He can't see how this is affecting me. The feeling in my stomach has not faded and I don't know what it means nor how to deal with it.“What was at the par...” he drifts off realising what I was talking about. A look of panic comes across his face.

“What do you think you were doing Phil?” I ask my voice low and surprisingly calm. I look up and he's shanking. “Phil, are you ok?” I genuinely ask.

“No” he croaks and his legs give way. Before he hits the floor I manage to catch him. He's not to heavy, I will manage.

I open the door with my foot, poking my head out the door, making sure the coast was clear. I walk down the corridor, and out the door. I would take him to the nurse but she might suspect something. I take him to my car and unlock it. I have a bit of trouble opening the door, but open it eventually. I lay Phi.. Lester down in the back. His face is so peaceful. He's not smiling or anything its just peaceful. I'm to late for class and I don't want to leave Lester in case he wakes up and freaks out.

I end up just driving around for a while and find myself at the park. I park the car but don't lock it, just in case. I stare at the swing for ten minutes before going and sitting on it. I'm not facing the road but the trees behind the park.

“Why are you doing this Daniel?” I ask myself out loud. “You know you could of just walked away, you could of just let him fall. So why are you doing this?” Then it struck me. “His cuts.” I sigh. “I am doing this because of guilt, guilt that I cannot avoid. It is something I'll have to face.” I have no idea why I'm saying this out loud, I probably look like some werido. “ I'm pathetic.” Tears stream down my face. Not because I pity myself because I know it's true.

“No you'r not,” A voice says behind me. I jump up off the swing and turn around. “ Dan, listen to me, you are an amazing person. Ok? Stop hating your self. Life is too short. Pick up yourself and go and make a mends rather than mopping around hating yourself because of what you did in the past. You probably think I'm a loser or whatever but I don't cut because of you.” His voice is pained at the end. “You don't hate me?” I asked confused and shocked.

“No, Dan I don't hate you.”

“Why? After everything I have done to you how can you not hate me? Even I hate me.” I am uncontrollably crying now, the tears stream down my face.

“Dan, listen to me ..” he can see its not working. He takes a step closer and the tears and just getting more intense. He leans in and shocks me. I freeze. His breath on my face. His lips pressed to mine. Short and swift. I stand there stunned. He steps back a concerned look on his face. What just happened?

Phil Lester just kissed me.