Tainted

Wei Wuxian has been in and out of consciousness for the past hour. He had passed out when the pain had become unbearable and when he came through the first time, Lan Wangji was long gone. He realizes he's still naked and his hands are still tied up but he's unable to move even to cover himself up.

When he opens his eyes the second time, he quickly inspects the room to see if Lan Wangji has returned. His racing heart settles when he's certain he is still all alone and lets his eyes close once again.

Subconsciously, he's aware that he is free now, safe from Lan Wangji, the ordeal has finally ended, but he's too scared and in too much physical pain to get up and leave. He feels disgusted and sticky all over. When he moves to pull up his knees to his chest, his whole lower body hurts, the pain is immense and he can feel something dripping out of his hole - blood or whatever else he does not care anymore.

He is ashamed at what just happened...ashamed that he let it happen, that he couldn't fight Lan Wangji and that his body even betrayed him to enjoy a small part of the pain inflicted on him.

He only has himself to blame for what Lan Wangji did, he provoked him and got what he deserved, probably - not once - he had lost count and consciousness after the second time. He almost despises himself for turning the once pristine and respectable Lan Wangji into such a monster. He still can't bring himself hate the guy after what he has done. So he just lay there waiting for the darkness to set before he can escape back to his room without anyone prying.

The next time Wei Wuxian gains consciousness, he hears foot steps outside the library. Tears start to well up and soon he's weeping hopelessly when the mere thought of Lan Wangji returning hits him. When did I become so scared of Lan Zhan? Was he always like this? Did he hate my teasing so much to hurt me this way or does he just hate...Me?

Wei Wuxian always admired the second Jade of the Lans, from the first night he got caught on the Gusu rooftop, sneaking in alcohol, to just a few hours ago. May be he still does. He admired his beauty, his sword fighting skills, his strict adherence to the Gusu clan rules and even his apathy. Wei Wuxian somehow felt an instant connection with the cold and aloof man, he wanted to be his friend, he wanted him to not be lonely and have a little fun in life. So he teased him relentlessly in hopes that eventually Lan Wangji will open up to him and let him in. He followed him around even if he was punished or scorned for it, he never gave up.

He just never expected that his approach would have the exact opposite effect on Lan Wangji...that he would grow to hate him more and more to the extent of physically hurting him, humiliating and defiling him like this.

Unable to bear the emotions running wild in his thoughts, he cries and cries some more until he passes out again.

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After a while he wakes up to realize that his body is no longer cold and he is not lying on the cold floor of the library pavilion anymore. He is on a bed in a strange room that he has never been before. He looks down under the blanket to see that he has been cleaned up and dressed and his hands are bandaged now.

He can hear footsteps and murmurs outside the door but has no idea who is there. He's terrified not knowing where exactly he is, so he scrambles out of the bed to escape. But his legs give out almost immediately and drops to the floor.

"Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng! Help...Please help me...Please help!" he whimpers.

"Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng comes bursting through the door and is horrified to see his brother crying on the floor for help. He instantly pulls him up and holds him in his arms.