Life After Love

Chapter 1

I see my wife's face staring at me, with tears streaming down it. My children around me comforting her, my beautiful children. These children made me who I am, made my life worth living. And here I am, left to just stare and not be able to say anything to them. I try to form something, but my mouth is dry and I can't bring it out.

"I think mama is trying to say something," my daughter Jill says. "Maybe she needs some water." I try to sit up, but me trying does nothing. I can't do it. They put a straw to my lips, but even that is too much for me. I do my best to smile, but I know there isn't much expression coming from my lips. My wife comes and places a kiss on my forehead.

"I love you so much," she says, still crying "It's okay to let go". I feel a sense of relief like something is done here. My wife has her children, and my children have their mother. I know it'll be hard for them, but they'll get through. I try to hold on for a while longer though because I know that I'll miss every second of my life. Of what my wife and I had created.

There is this fear in me about death, but yet, great comfort also. I stare forward at a blank wall, and right in the center, I see a bright dot. It's starting to expand, and I know. Whatever it is, it's meant for me. In a way, I can feel myself reaching for it. I feel my fingertips wanting to touch it. I say to the world how much I love it, and thank it for all the amazing things it brought me. And before I know, everything vanishes before me.

Where am I? Why am I still thinking? I think to myself. I mean it's not that I didn't believe in an afterlife, but I was also prepared for nothingness. Is this what I will do, spend eternity with myself? Everything is dark and I'm left confused. Well shit. I'm left with the worst person I know, Myself. I don't like this at all, sitting in the dark, only with my thoughts to comfort me. Even my thoughts can't comfort me in this weird case. I try to stay calm, but there's nothing of me to stay calm. I try to look down, but no body. I try to look around and see what is here, but what I think should be my head is not there. It is just complete blackness. I hate this, I hate not having the people I love. That was my biggest fear out of death, losing the ones I love. Never knowing where they will be, or what they are doing. Even when my wife passes on, is this what she will have to see? To know that I'm not there to comfort her, or hold her. By now I would be crying, but I feel no sense for it. I can see now, that resting in peace is taken seriously here in this void. The only thing I have left are my thoughts, or so I think.

That's when I see that bright light again. But this time it consumes my consciousness, I get feeling again. They must have brought me back to life! I think. For a second I'm excited to not take a second for granted to see my wife. Even then, when I was dying, I didn't think I appreciated her enough to be there with me. I feel myself trying to move, and my fingers trying to spread out. As I toss and turn a bit I hear some male voices overcoming me. I slightly open my eyes and see them standing there, with clipboards in hand taking notes.

"She is waking up," one of them says "better to leave her to take it all in."

Take it all in? What do they mean, being back from the dead? I mean, yeah it'll be far better. But I don't think I'll go crazy from all of it. That is when they close the door, and I'm almost at full consciousness. My eyes flutter open, but my wife and kids are gone. The room does look the same though, and as I start to move my eyes. No. My head! I'm moving my head! I start to look around but they aren't there. Maybe my kids took my wife home after they thought I was gone? I try to come up with reasons, hope as to why they aren't here, and that they'll come back for me. That's when I see it though... My hand. It's not shocking that I have one, but the skin. It's youthful, not old, and wrinkly like it was just minutes ago. I put it in front of me staring at it, confused.