Shitposts / a funny haha

Shrek in Highschool

okay but imagine, right? you're walking down the long corridor of an American high-school, when a man, a legend walks up to you. he is named Shawn. he hands you a football team sign up sheet, well aware that you are a small child that could be punted across the football field by any of the other members. you decide "maybe not" and have an apple instead. that apple? a week old. it squishy. you are dissapointed. you sit down. next to you is a glass jar. in that jar? pickle juice. time slows down and we zoom in on the empty pickle jar. it wants a sacrifice. zoom back out, what do we see? the fountain of youth. you steal it. the whole fountain. you give the fountain to the jar. you look at your hands that have now turned green. you look in the mirror, what do you see? you've become the one thing that could defeat every person on the football team. shrek.