do you really think so?

"I smoke because I need to cling to something."

Winter, Manchester 1984.

A lonely monday again, I get up and play "Closer" by Joy Division on my record player, I turn to she through the window and it's snowing again, everything just feels like a deja-vú.

I've been needing kind of a sparkle in my life for months now, I'm not sad or anything, I'm just bored.

I turn off my record player and come downstairs now fully dressed with some mom jeans, a black sweater, a green coat which pockets contain a lighter, a pack of cigarettes and my walkman with its earphones plugged in, and as footwear i'm wearing black boots.

My mom greets me and makes me some tea. I love tea.

-"Hey sweetie!" She says while she pours the hot water into the mug"

"Hi Mom" I answer with a smile

-"Where are you going?"

"Out" I say

-"Okay, just be careful please"

"Yes" I say after I finish my cup of tea and I place the earphones on my ears

I walk down the snowy Manchester streets and decide to visit my friend Maddie who works on my favorite local record shop.

"Camilla!!" Maddie shouts right after she hears the door's bell ring and sees me standing in the welcome rug taking my coat off.

"Hello love" I reply with small laugh as I take my earphones off and put them inside my pocket.

"How have you been?" Maddie asks while she unpackages new vinyl arrivals in the counter.

"Same old, same old" I reply as I light a cigarette.

Maddie laughs a bit and we both hear the door's bell ring again but we don't look back as I'm taking a drag out of my cig and Maddie is still unpackaging the records.

Suddenly I feel someone step beside me and I look to see a black-haired young man holding a cigarette in his mouth. I raise my head as a greeting sign while I take another drag out of my cig.

He softly smiles and raises his eyebrows at me.

I blush. I felt stupid blushing over that, but I think he didn't noticed.

He does a search motion with his head and I suppose he is searching for Maddie, who went back for more boxes.

"Are you looking for Maddie?" I shyly ask.

(I'm not shy at all, just introverted but I felt really nervous)

-"Umm...yes kind of, 'm just looking for a specific vinyl record" -He says with a deep but gentle voice as he takes another drag out of has cigarette.

Somehow his voice gave me chills as he was very hot to be honest.

"Oh, she went back there but she'll come in a bit". I confindently reply

-"Thanks" he replied letting the cigarette smoke out of this mouth.

Oh God, he really was very hot indeed.

Maddie comes in with another box and places it in the counter

"Can I help you?" She asks

"Oh yeah, I was wondering if you already have Playboy by The Marvelettes in stock?" -he says

I suddenly think: "he's got taste"

He must be into The Shangri-las, and The Ronettes, The Crystals, The Shirelles, and stuff like that, which I really love.

"Let me check back there" Maddie replies as she goes to do that.

"So are you into girl groups?" I nicely ask as I turn off my cigarette with my foot by steping on it and then I throw it into the trash bin located next to the entrance door.

-"Yes" he replies smiling, which gives me instant butterflies.

"That's very cool, My favorites are The Ronettes and The Marvelettes" I reply

-"Wow, you've got taste" -he replies with a grin

"I guess I do" I reply with a smirk whilst puting my coat on.

I open the door to leave the store and he stops me with his arm placed on the door.

"My name's Johnny... Johnny Marr" -he says

"Well, goodbye, Johnny Marr" - I say as I smile leaving the store and letting him intrigued.

I light another cigarette as I walk back to my house.

I'm still feeling butterflies in my stomach and I can't help but smile while remembering his face.

Fuck.