Collide (Impact Book 2) | h.s. | complete

12. Too Much

~Tori~

“Tanner?” I yelled from the nursery. “Tanner, Ciella needs that bottle warmed up.”

“Okay, I said I’d get it, Tori…I’m doing it right now.” He shouted from the bottom of the stairs in the kitchen.

“How about doing it five minutes ago before she started wailing.” I hollered back, bouncing lightly, Ciella pressed tightly to my chest. “Please stop crying baby, Mummy’s here…” It had been seven months since I’d had her and the first few months had been a lot easier than I had thought. She slept through the night most nights almost instantaneously, rarely cried and was growing rapidly. But, in the past two weeks, she’d become finicky and had cried basically non-stop. “Tanner?”

“I’m coming…” He said as he appeared in the doorway. I reached for the bottle, which he shoved in my direction. He turned on his heel and marched back out of the room as quickly as he'd come.

“Where are you going?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“Out.” He replied simply and I followed him out of the room.

“What do you mean out?” I asked, my heart rattling in my chest.

“I need to get away from the screaming baby.” He said, pulling his jacket off the hook at the bottom of the stairs.

“I think something is wrong with her Tanner, she hasn’t stopped in two weeks.” 

“I know, I’ve been here listening to it.”

“That’s the thing, Tanner, you haven’t been here. You’ve been ‘out’ God knows where, doing God knows what while I’ve been here trying to get her to stop. She’s clearly uncomfortable and I don’t know how to help her.”

“I don’t know either, I’ve never done any of this before.” He yelled. “For fucks sake is she ever going to stop?” He asked, tugging his hair.

“Don’t swear.” I scolded, pulling her closer to my body.

“She can’t understand me.” He exhaled, clearly frustrated. “I’m going out.” He said again, picking up his keys from the front table.

“When will you be back?”

“I don’t know Tori,” He said, his back to me. “When I feel like it.” And with that, he was gone, slamming the door behind him. Ciella let out a piercing screech and I looked up at the ceiling as tears poured over my cheeks. It felt like I hadn’t stopped crying in months.

“Please stop crying, Cici, please.” I begged as I took her back into the nursery and lay her in her crib, pressing the bottle to her lips. “What’s wrong, baby? I don’t know what to do to help you.” As she let out another ear piercing cry, the doorbell rang and I lifted her, taking her downstairs with me. When I pulled the curtain aside, Madame Cross looked back at me through the window. I opened the door and ushered her in, bouncing Ciella in my arms.

“Oh dear, what are the tears for?” She asked, reaching out for Ciella. I handed her over, taking the chance to pull my hair into a bun.

“I don’t know she hasn’t stopped for the past two weeks.” I shook my head, leading the way into the kitchen. Madame Cross had helped Tanner and I in the first few months after Ciella had been born, but she had begun to teach an English class a few towns over and rarely came around anymore.

“You have gotten so big, my love.” She said, bustling around the kitchen, washing her hands and then taking Cici to the couch. She lay her down on the plush couch cushion and pressed her pinky finger to her chin and Cici took it between her tiny lips. Her tears ceased and I sunk into a chair beside them.

“Thank you.” I said, reveling in the silence.

“It’s not a problem,” Madame Cross said. “She is probably just having a hard time changing to the bottle,” She noted and I nodded, but when I looked up her brow had furrowed slightly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked looking between her and the baby.

“She’s burning up, Claire, did you not notice?” I hadn’t needed to use my fake name for months as I’d been cooped up with Cici.

“No, what’s wrong with her?” I stood up crossing to them and lay a hand on her tiny forehead. She looked up at me, her eyes glassy.

“I’m not sure, do you have the number of your pediatrician?” She asked, standing to retrieve her phone as I took her place, pulling Ciella to my body.

“Yea it’s on the sheet of paper on the fridge…or maybe it’s in the diaper bag…I don’t know, what’s going to happen?” I asked, growing frantic as i noticed Cici's small body vibrating in my arms.

“Nothing is going to happen, we are going to call the doctor and have them take a look at Cici right now if she can fit us in, Where is Jake?” I hesitated, also not used to Tanner's fake name. 

“He went out I-”

“That’s alright, I’ll drive us, will you go get her ready?” I nodded, swallowing back tears, then launched into action, dressing Cici and putting her shoes and jacket on. Her screams had dulled to low whimpers and my heart raced. I had failed her. I didn’t even notice that she was running a fever.

“Dr. Jean can’t fit us in today but I called in a favor with a friend in Goult, it’s a short 15 minute drive. Are you ready?” I nodded, following her outside and down the street to her car.