ANGEL ☾ winwin one shots.

don't leave me. [yuwin]

in the idle car, the outside world seems vacant.

sicheng has forgotten the last time he gets to enjoy life in its quietude. isolated from other things, from people. especially right after the rain.

the soft pitter-patter of raindrops on the window glass helps sicheng to keep his calm. that's the miracle of rain, and the aftermath – it always helps sicheng to relax no matter how much he wants to cry or scream. a reminder that he's gonna be okay.

he's not sure about that now, though.

next to him in the still car is yuta, his boyfriend of two years; in a plain white tee and jeans. sicheng stares at him silently. it's been fifteen minutes since yuta cut the engine off and he hasn't uttered a single word, doesn't even look at sicheng. he keeps focusing on the view outside.

sicheng leans on his seat. he finds yuta's hands and takes it, holds it tight. never wanting to let go even if he has to.

" you're leaving ." sicheng says at last. it comes off as a whisper; as if it's not real if he doesn't say it loud enough.

yuta heaves out a long sigh, as heavy as his own heart. " not forever ," a reluctant pause. " just for a while ."

" you're moving back to japan. I won't say it's for a while ."

yuta intertwines their fingers and squeezes his hand without turning to him. a sign of assurance. sicheng doesn't buy it, though. it's only an act to not make him upset.

he knows that regardless of what he does or say – it won't make yuta stay.

" only for college, okay? I'll come back after I graduate ." yuta explains, a thumb caressing sicheng's hand.

" I know. but it's not the same without you ."

" what am I supposed to do? it's not my decision, and you know it. my dad wants me to study there... and like, take over his stupid company ."

sicheng should've guessed. on each of his birthday, yuta has never failed to give him something expensive. plus their couple bracelets, yuta's apartment, the fact he bought sicheng a new phone right after his old one broke... hell, even this car is something of a high-brand. how can it never occurred to him before?

to be fair, he had a hunch. but he didn't say anything because yuta never did.

" you never told me ." he says in a meek tone. yuta finally turns and shakes his head.

" it's... a long story. I'm sorry ."

" I have time. I'm not going anywhere ."

" sicheng, it's best if you keep out of it ."

" why is it so hard for you to tell me about yourself ?" sicheng almost-snaps. " I'm your boyfriend for two years but now I feel like I don't know you at all ..."

yuta faces him fully and takes sicheng's hands in his. his gaze is soft, comforting – but sicheng can't shake the thought that he knows absolutely nothing about this man whom he claims he loves. their relationship feels pointless if he doesn't even know of yuta's background.

at first, it didn't matter. they were madly in love (still are) and that's all sicheng cares about. but now they're serious, not the high-school dumb-idiots-in-love they once were, and sicheng is ashamed for knowing so little about yuta.

it's not like he never asked. yet each time yuta never answered.

he's brought back to reality when he feels a hand on his cheek. yuta smiles softly, his touch tender.