Godsend

Crestfallen

June 4th, 2015 

Everything seemed so still, the world outside had stopped moving, no birds, no crickets, nothing. The sun was adamant in the sky, staying at high noon, illuminating the world with a ghostly white shade. The unsettling tranquility of the world made Lacie's sporadic breathing echo through the entirety of the town home. Lacie sat on the bed in the room she occupied, motionless, a fleshy statue. Paige laid in her lap, her inanimate form stiff and gelid.

Lacie shifted her eyes to focus on Paige; the girl had followed Lacie here for the promise of salvation, but instead received a lingering demise. Lacie could remember the way Paige had called out for her father, a true summoning to him; as if just seeing him again would make everything okay, as if that unmistakable and familiar smell of aftershave and deodorant that dads give off would remedy the situation.

And maybe it would.

The constant stir of hunger dwindled the remainder of Lacie, whatever was left of her. She couldn't move any of her limbs, she couldn't scream for help, all she could do was look and breathe, and even those basic functions began ebbing away. She had accepted her fate; she knew she was going to die, there was no doubt about it, nothing short of a doctor with an IV full of nutrients would save her now. 

Lacie thought of her own parents, her ditsy mother, her wise father, the support they gave her. She knew she had thrown it all away for nothing, that her own foolhardy actions had gotten her here, and that everything that had transpired because of it was her fault. This revelation made her feel like crying, but her body wouldn't let her; she didn't have enough moisture to make tears.

There wasn't anything Lacie wanted more than to be in her room one last time, on her bed, listening to music and waiting for the smell of her mother's cooking to fill the house. She missed the lightly hostile dinner talk with her parents, the way her Dad would eat almost super-humanly fast, the way her mother would dance when she did dishes, the way everything was before the dupes came.

But it wasn't their fault, she knew that. As much as she wanted to blame them for the wrong in the world, there was nothing the dupes could have done differently. She mused on herself, wondering what she could have done differently to prevent her fate. If she had just stayed home, she would be okay, and even if not, she wouldn't be alone. 

"This is no place for me," Lacie thought, "I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid."

Lacie could feel herself becoming still, her body becoming one with the amalgamation of serene calm around her. 

"This is what dying feels like." Lacie thought to herself, intensely speculating all the feelings and sensations bombarding her brain.

The outside world seemed so imperceptible, a foreign concept to her. Lacie could only feel things inside herself, traveling through the recesses of her mind, looking for all the pleasant things to experience. Drifting asleep in old memories of her childhood, of a simpler time before she had to understand anything, a time before the opinions of others mattered. Lacie couldn't discern whether she was physically smiling, or if the feeling was just in her imagination, but she could feel herself becoming peaceful. 

Lacie looked around the colorless town home room she was in; every inch of the room was bled of life, from the carpet to the ceiling. Lacie envisioned herself in her bed, allowing the monotone hue of the town home to be replaced the the tacky-but-welcoming multicolored walls of her bedroom. The posters of urbane looking boys plastered on every wall, the childhood fancies that permeated in the room, she let it all come back to her.

She was home.

As Lacie drew in her final breath, she felt her body become permanently still, frozen, returning home one last time. Her mother was there, sitting in the living room with her father, the both of them waiting for her, their faces excited to see their little girl one more time.

"We have a lot of catching up to do." Lacie said.

She wondered what playlist would match the mood she was currently in.