On that Desk

1

Sasuke: 

It's been one year since the war has ended, things have been difficult in Konoha-gakure. Not difficult in a painful kind of way. Not difficult, but tense. No one knows what I'm really feeling, or what I've felt. Not even Naruto-kun or Sakura-chan. I'm just afraid of being judged by them. Thats why I leave Konoha-gakure so frequently. Since Kakashi-sama is the new Hokage, I have requested that he send me on more long term missions. Just so I can stay away from those two. They might not know all of my facets, but they are the two living people who know me best. It makes me feel weak to have people know how I feel, so I avoid it all. It has taken me years to come to terms with the suppression of my own feelings, and now that I know how I truly feel, I'm afraid that those two, at least Naruto anyways, will figure it out too.

Every couple of months I come to visit. Last time I was there, Naruto finally had a healed arm. I chose to go without one. Simply put, it meant less time in Konoha, and less time with the people who know me. But every time I go, I miss it a little bit more. I haven't had a normal life in years, and I want to settle down somewhere, with someone... but I'm not ready yet. I guess this move to normal life is something that my subconscious really wants because I keep having to urge to write letters to my friends back there. Even now, calling them my friends is difficult. It has taken so long to accept my flaws, and even longer to accept Sakura and Naruto as more than acquaintances. I want to write to them so bad that I even dream about it sometimes. But I'm still not at that point yet.

Naruto:

I got a letter from him last night. I know his mission schedule has almost inverted his sleep wake schedule, but I was still surprised to find one of his hawks clawing at my window before the sun came up. It was a short letter, scrawled in loose writing across the page. Two years ago, when we fought to end the war, he lost his left arm and I lost my right; those were our dominant hands. I got mine back last year, he chose not to. And judging by the handwriting, he has had little time to practice with his right hand.

I have had missions too, none like his, but I've had some. It's difficult to feel productive because we are in such an era of peace, but I try when I can.

Based on his letter, I can tell his emotions are still sealed off. He remains a husk of who he could be. He won't let me open his shell. It's alright, I have time. Years to unlock him. 

His letter says, "You've grown", I know this means he's seen me recently. I wrack my brain to think of a time I could've missed his watching me. It's almost impossible, but when my senses are dulled (after I'm finished eating a large char siu miso ramen) it's not too hard to make a move on me. I'm surprised that he's been to the village recently without me knowing.

All the jounin know to tell me when he's coming. The only people that would've kept it a secret from me could be Kakashi Sensei ( I should call him Kakashi-sama, or Hokage, but I forget), or one of the village elders.

I'm still in bed now. I fell back asleep after reading those two messy words from Sasuke. The suns finally up, and I'm sure he is somewhere far away, protecting villagers on the land border from mercenaries, or hunting rouge ninja. Well, I don't know what he's doing, or where he is, I just know he's far from me.