Smiles - Hell Rider's MC #3 -

Chapter 2

Okay I made a mistake. In Alpha's story Key was still at the compound, and since this one started where Alpha left off he technically should've still been there (personally I don't know at this point I have been so busy) but just go with it please. I don't want people in the comments still "correcting" me when I already am aware of it, thank you.

Also yes I'm aware this is way late but I'm just now getting some time to write. Any updates after this will also be kind of hit or miss because I'll be working everyday cause I have two jobs so realistically my schedule has not opened up one bit.

But I'm trying because I really am excited for this book, I've just been super exhausted and I hope you guys can forgive me.
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•SMILES•
Fuck.

Fuck me.

That text message was my fucking thirteenth reason.

I was laying in bed later that night, staring at my ceiling in despair.

Why did he have to send that? Why?

He doesn't know that I've been trying to avoid him. Last he knew I was some desperate horny man who was willing to fuck at any given point in the day. When he left for the run, I was determined to change. I was determined to not let him ever walk all over me again.

All that determination was about to go down the fucking drain because I have zero self control.

The only person that's been keeping me in check is Miranda, and she can't be around me all the time to monitor if I'm controlling my dick or not.

I turned over and almost screamed into my pillow as my mind wouldn't stop racing. All I wanted to do was sleep but I knew that if I slept then it would make the time go by faster and I didn't want that. I didn't want to see him and for all of my resolve to go down the drain.

It's really my fault though, we had established that we were only friends with benefits and yet I had to go and catch feelings.

Although, can you really blame me?

I whined and stood up from my bed, giving up on sleep. Making my way out of the bedroom, I quickly paddled downstairs to the kitchen to get a late night snack.

Or early morning. Depends on what you classify 3am as.

Opening up cupboard after cupboard, nothing was catching my eye so I decided to make myself a grilled cheese. Throughout my task, my mind wouldn't stop. Constantly I was thinking about the what if factor of our encounter. My mind was hardly processing what I was doing because my heart was racing so quickly at my thoughts.

Growing up, I was never one for relationships. I always ended up pulling the short straw and getting heart broken while my friends had found the love of their life. I always thought I didn't deserve someone to love me, and I didn't want this interaction to end up with me hurt yet again.

My last relationship was over a year ago and I caught him cheating on me with my best friend. Yeah, not fun. Especially when it was on my bed.

I burned the mattress and bought a new one.

I sighed and plated my food, my mood dropping lower and lower the more my mind raced.

Why me? For some reason I'm always the one to get hurt even though everyone around me is finding their soulmate. And yeah I'm happy for them, but it's hard to constantly be around couples when you don't have someone that you can go to at night. It's hard when you don't have someone to be there for you when you need it the most.