My Weird Superpower

Chapter 1 - Trash Tacos

The truth is, I have a superpower. It's called being super fucking weird. Ok, a superpower is a slight over-exaggeration, but it's pretty great. No one expects normal. I can't give them normal, all I can do is give them anecdotes about eating nuggets at 3 am and finding a giant spider in my shower. There isn't going to be any normal here. Just the ultimate chaos that I can provide.

I once ate a taco out of the bin. Don't freak out, it was still wrapped in foil and didn't touch any of the other rubbish, it was fine. There was nothing else to eat, my family had gone away for the weekend, and I get paid on Thursday, so naturally, by Sunday I couldn't afford food. It was 2 pm, I could feel every blood vessel rushing to my head as my hangover demanded food into the empty fridge. Well, empty except for some squishy grapes and a moldy eggplant. It was empty. In a moment of clarity, I rushed back to the night before.

My drunken stupor had definitely gotten the best of me by 3 am. My superpower of being weird had worn off, and I was just sad and hungry. Hungry for greasy food. Desperate for that taco place that probably dips their tacos in chicken fat after they've been made. Desperate for anyone to notice how sad I was. But mostly desperate for my taco. I dragged my drinking buddies by the arm to the only place still open and order a taco and an Uber. I needed to go home.

Now, I don't exactly remember what happened between then and my head making best friends with my pillow that night, but I do know I made it home, the taco ended up in the bin, and I fell asleep. So at 2:03, I fished that taco out of the bin like a cat searching for a bone, and shoved it straight into my gullet. Not going to lie, it was the best taco I have ever eaten.

Back to my superpower, sometimes it does give me some extra powers. My dad calls them subtle superpowers. Things like always being able to find the best unknown place to eat, or being able to charm my way out of most situations, or making everyone laugh all the time because if they don't laugh I assume they hate me. I mean- I'm fine. I have this superpower, if people don't like me, that's fine. I don't need them to like me. Sometimes it does other things, like having me be able to recall insane amounts of information about inane things, or being able to get anywhere without a map, or getting curious about a weird building that was unlocked, going inside looking inside a closet, having someone walk in so you hide in the closet and then you definitely witness a drug deal gone wrong.

So now you're caught up on right now, I am hiding in a cupboard, after watching someone get stabbed in a drug deal, trying not to hyperventilate. OHMYGOD I think I just watched someone get murdered.

I'm Daley, and I guess this is what's happening.