My life as Chase

What lead up to coming out

Hi my names Chase Vance Lee but my birth name is Cheresh Samantha Lee and this is the story of how I came out as trans and how my family and friends reacted.

When I was little around 3rd or 4th grade I found myself being jealous that I didn't have what boys have, I wanted to be able to talk around and be like one of the guys of course with my family I could never voice my opinion cause I was just a little kid that had crazy idea. Well that's what my mind told me. Over the next few years I tried to bury those thought cause in my family I grew up around homophobic people my grandparents owned a church and my other grandparents were extremely religious so I grew up in a family that would never except me for who I wanted to be even if i hadn't voiced my opinion on myself I knew they would never except me.

In 5th grade half way through the year I moved schools which was the worst thing to ever happen at first but after a few weeks I made some amazing friends that were like me. We were all part of the lgbtq+ community. Lexi, Allie, and Molli. They were the only people I was out to and even after they came out to me it took me awhile to come out to them seeing as how I was still used to being in a close minded family.

One day we were all hanging out at Allies when we started talking about if I would like to have or if I would mind having a penis and since I have thought about this a lot when I was younger and through the years, I said I really wouldn't mind; I'd be one hundred percent okay with having a dick. After we had that conversation we really didn't talk about it again and I don't think any of us felt the need to.

Through the next few weeks I really started to focus on what it would be like to have a dick and be called with he/him pronouns and what my name would be if I was born a guys. I wasn't uncomfortable with the idea of it. I was actually completely okay with it but I still didn't talk to anyone about it. I kept it completely to myself and still wasn't sure if I would be excepted even if I had already talk about it with the girls to some extent.

In the next 2 years I continue to keep it to myself not saying a single word about it. I had however changed my sexuality quite a few times by then in seventh grade I came out as lesbian and I stuck with it for a little while but it didn't feel right so I just went back to being bisexual and stayed with that until I could figure out what my sexuality really was and so I could have something that was close to how I was feeling but it still didn't feel correct all the way.
Although, I did come out to some of people in my family about my sexuality

Around that time I really started to think about talking to someone about how I felt. I had started to research stuff about how I was feeling and what I would be called if I did come out as transgender. I still hadn't gotten up the courage to talk to anyone about how I was feeling.

This carried on until April of 9th grade year which was last years school year. Around that time we had started the quarantine because of COVID-19, I stayed at my grandparents a lot of the time cause I always had a great relationship with them, at this point my grandma knew that I was into chicks and had excepted me and so did my grandpa they were kinda like my safe haven away from the rest of my homophobic family and I was really glad to have them around this time cause I really needed them just like I always had. Around this time I also started to drink more and more and it got to the point where my grandma and I would have drunk dance party's at midnight having the time of our life's, we would go out for smokes to take a break and cool off from all the dancing and while we were out there I got the courage to talk to her about it. She was the first person I came out to and I wouldn't change a thing about who the first person I came out too was. My grandma and I talked for hour about how I had been feeling and how I came to this conclusion from them on I started thinking of different names I could go by and there were so many and it took me 6 months and however many years before to finally find the right name I wanted to be called and when I found it I had my grandma call me it and it's just felt so right I had chills from getting called Chase and I finally felt like I was being called the correct names the feelings I felt when she called me Chase was the most alive I felt throughout my whole life.

Grandma decided she's talk to my grandpa about it cause he's be able to understand how I was feeling more then she could. You see my grandpa was born with ambiguous genitalia (which is when a baby is born with both female and male parts). His parents decide they wanted a girl so they had the doctors conduct surgery on my grandpa as a baby and removed most of his tentacles and when he was fifteen he came to his parts and told them that he was a male and that they had chosen wrong after he was born. They had excepted him when he came out and they put him on testosterone and helped him be comfortable with himself and who he was so you see my grandpa could understand more then anyone in my life could and for that I was great full.

Writing this is making me think of the time the time my grandma and i were talking and she showed me a baby picture and the only way you could tell that baby was a female was because of the clothes that the baby was wear and my grandma says " that's you, do you see what I mean when I said you were a handsome baby" and in that moment I couldn't be more happy that she was the first person I came out to and I will never take back who the first person I told.

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Hello my lovely I hope you enjoyed reading my first chapter and I'm not sure how many people will read this but welcome to the first chapter of my life story. Sorry that I jump around a lot but I wanted to pay attention to the most important details that brought be to where I am today

Goodbye my lovely's <3 <3
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