Writings From Within

Love

   I long for it, I want it. I whine and pine for it. I crave it. I will perish without it. I have went so long without it. I can just barely remember its sweet presence; light and airy yet heavy and suffocating. Sometimes cold and damp, other times warm and airy. It is more than that, however; it is everything.

   It can be awkward and perfect. It can be anticipated or it can be unexpected. It can bring excitement and anxiousness. It can bring tears of joy and sobs of sadness. It can make the heart crave something it cannot even understand. It can make it really hurt; bringing up all previous wounds. Even the ones we buried deep in our core, never thought to be seen again. The ones we wish we could forget. The ones that scar us.

   And when the sky settles on its deep blue and black hues for the night, we can finally see it. That little piece of hope and bewilderment shining through, even in the darkest of nights. However, there is one just flaw; just like us, this hope and bewilderment can not be present all of the time. Which makes it even more special and amazing when it is there; distance does, in fact, make the heart grow fonder. 

   The warmth begins so subtle. The heavy clouds dissipate, the dark sky starts to lighten; the crispy, bitter-sweet air that's nipping at your soul finally stops making you shiver. It's been so long since you've actually sat still, you forgot how quiet it is. How peaceful it is. How absolute it is. How much you have really missed it, like a childhood pet. 

   July's hot sun scorches their face in your mind. All the blemishes and baby soft skin. How the light reflects from your glasses. That warm and fuzzy feeling rising in your chest and sinking down your throat. How you can feel every hot breath leave you dry lips  and disappate into nothingness. How your body fits perfectly with theirs, even after all this time. Almost like it was meant to be.

   But those hot summer nights fade out as quickly as they came and before you know it the coldness settles in. You are left in the dark again, as if they had never been there in the first place; your only reminder is that craving deep down. And it comes in waves, like grief. A tsunami of dreadful wanting that is just as destructive. How you miss their sweet scent and would do anything if it meant possibly having a chance of  having it carress your nose just once more. If it meant seeing their smile brighten the horizon one more time. If it meant maybe you would get to feel their embrace for a second longer. If it meant anything at all.

   And when that October chill settles in, please do not let it discourage you love, for there are more nights you are meant see. More storms of tears you are meant to shed; and some you aren't. More beauty in your eyes you have yet to see. There are cold, hard nights ahead of you but even more warm afternoons than you can fathom. For you have gracefully managed to find something unconitional and everlasting. My love, you are absolute. You are everything. Remember this always.

                                                                                                                                      My Dearest Beloved