An Arranged Marriage

Sitting in the chair with pain rushing through every part of my body, how I wish I could erase this day from my life. I am Annie, a woman in her early forties, a teacher by profession. Pain is not a new guest for me. Sometimes I wonder why god is being so experimental. I don't have enough leaves to skip today's class and take rest. I have substitution during the last hour. 5 C it read. I walked through the corridors and reached the class room. I somehow reached the teachers chair and said "Dear children. Your maths teacher told me about the work she has given to you. Please do that and please don't make any noise." I closed my eyes experiencing severe back pain which doctors call 'disc prolapse'. I opened my eyes witnessing a rocket brush pass me with a huge noise.

The kids started to run as the bell rang. "Why are you pushing each other? You might get hurt. Please don't make me tell you again. Please go back to your respective seats." Being a teacher is not easy. The responsibility of handling some forty five different individuals with different shades of characters. But kids won't understand, do they? They don't move back. While the situation worsened each second, I stood up from the chair. But this time the pain felt intolerable. I couldn't handle it anymore. It seemed like my spine got very weak that it couldn't handle me standing. I lost my balance and fell. I didn't call Joss.

Rina teacher told me that she and some other teachers will drop me back home. They held me. Tears running down like an ocean full of hope loosing each and every second. Somehow I got seated in a car with their help. They were all telling me something. But all I could hear was my own consciousness that this time even medicines are not going to bring me back to normal state.

I called Joss while I was just a few meters to my home and asked him to open the gate. He was panicking and asked me the problem while I cut the call just because of the miserable pain. I couldn't talk much. While the car entered the gate and reached our porch, I could see Joss rushing to me and asking me what happened. But without even telling him, he quickly understood and picked me in his arms. I felt more comfortable. He placed me carefully in the bed. Rima teacher explained everything. I could see his heart weeping. It ruined everything. I have suffered in Ayurveda hospitals, physiotherapy centres ever since I could remember. I don't want to spend my whole life in bed tasting pain, unable to even move, brushing YouTube to see anything that will make the time fly and definitely not this boring. I couldn't find Joss in the room. Rima teacher already left. While I opened my mouth to call him, I saw him approaching me with Ayurveda oils, mixed and heated to apply on my back.

He always made sure that the temperature was comfortable for me. And he never forgets to ask me "Is it too hot Ann? Tell me if it's hot." He applied it carefully. His phone starts to ring. It was Lisa, our 23 year old, doing her Post graduation in Netherlands. I asked Joss to put the call on speaker.

"Papa, what's with mom's phone? I called her more than five times. Is she okay? " . While I was mocking at him so as to not tell her anything, he said " Oh, she came back home just now and is helping your Nani with pickles. And your Nani is calling me for taking those special pickle spoons. See, your papa is restless because of your mom and Nani"

I could hear Lisa laughing and telling him to go and help them while she was saying about the research works she has to do next week. After cutting the call he looked at me in regret and misery. "See, she has lots to do and telling her anything of what's happening here would mess her up. We will tell her once it gets done dear."

Nani went back to Joss's sister's house a few days back. He lied for me. He carried me everywhere in his arms. He is fifty nine now. I laid on bed four whole months when I fell from the stairs. He always took care of me, treated me like his queen. Lisa was in India then. They both cared as if I'm a three year old. I overheard him talking to Lisa about his shoulder pain one day. I always warned him about carrying me and so I switched to walking stick. Who would take care of me if he's not well? But I wasn't allowed to use stick alone. Only supervised by Lisa or joss. It was Lisa's command. She is a tough soul. But now, even a stick won't help. My doctor always made fun of me telling how caring and romantic my husband is.

I heard Joss calling the hospital and confirming an emergency appointment. The doctor was shocked when he saw me in the present state and rushed to us and said "I am quitting my profession. Annie, why are you again in the wheel chair? ". I started to laugh. He checked me and told, "Don't worry, it is because of the sudden fall that you have this pain. I want to see you again walking and coming to me. Your next appointment is after three months. You should take three months bed rest". Time really flies. It is the night before my next appointment. I must say I had hope. I don't know what my present stage is. Joss came to me and asked "What shall you have for dinner today my lady love?"

"Anything you make, my king". I replied mimicking him. We had our dinner and while placing the blanket on me, he kissed on my forehead and said "Pray to god and have a good sleep. I know everything is going to be okay". I smiled at him and dozed off.

From that chair to walking through the corridor of the hospital today after the appointment with the doctor, he was the one who cared me. He bathed me, cooked for me, and always cracked jocks just to see me laughing. While I laugh, I see him always staring at me. This man has never stopped to believe in me, never gave up on me and most importantly never stopped loving me. Our marriage was an arranged one. We were complete strangers sitting in the auditorium when the pandit passed on 'mangalsutra' to him and when he tied knot.

He wakes up early every morning for breakfast while I fall asleep due to the medicines. He always forgets recipes while cooking. He runs to me in-between and asks "Was it the turmeric or the masala powder for Sambar?" Even if I correct him the 15th time, it's still the same doubt next time. I used to complain about his poor memory and would suggest 'Santhosh Brahmi' every time he misses something.

All he never forget is ways to make me happy. He knows it precisely. According to the stereotypes of duty of a man and a woman, a man never tries to compromise with the perceptions. Joss has broken all the labels and stereotypes. He does household jobs on my behalf. It is his love for me that makes him do everything. Everything that is perceived to be more of women-centered jobs.

Being in a middle class family, it was so hard for us to arrange money for medicines all this while. The sales were not good all the time. Medicines for me costs too much that he sometimes can't afford. Lisa also did her part-time jobs and send us money to support us and these thoughts were cut-off suddenly when he placed his arms on my shoulders and side hugged me carefully not to hurt me even with a single touch. I could feel his love for me from his eyes and from the things he did for me. He never let anyone else nurse me, not even when he feels sick. I have learned "to love" from him. To love someone like him is eternal happiness and satisfaction. For, he doesn't say often that he loves me. He always believed in that feeling. He didn't believe in words.

All I do is compete with him. All I can do is that. For, never I feel that I can win over him because his love is so rigid. I still fight, fighting for love is too a blessing. And as he kissed me again, he said.

"Let's celebrate our anniversary dear. So vanilla or chocolate?" He knew what I wanted. He always knew.