☆ yellow ☆ (zukka AU)

chapter 35

zuko's POV

school has started for less than a week, and i already feel like breaking down. being in the terminal year, i get bombed from all directions with questions about what i want to do in the future, what college i want to attend, what job i want to get...

and i have no idea. absolutely none.

i feel anxious every time uncle brings it up, even though i am aware he means no harm, but the amount of stress is astronomical. i just find it hard to picture myself working my ass off every single day for the rest of my life, until i finally retire and wait for death to come. it's so fucking stupid.

the final exams are right around the corner, so i should send my application to a few universities, but i try not to think about it that much. i can't bare the unsettling feeling i get when i do.

"are you alright?" i sense a hand being placed on my shoulder.

i flinch from the unexpected contact that broke me from my thoughts, and sokka retreats his hand almost instantly.

"sorry, i kinda zoned out, but i'm fine" i mumble and try to focus on the literature teacher.

she's blabbering about i don't know what boring, outdated book she's making us read, so it's extremely hard for me to pay attention.

"you were staring into space, is something on your mind?" sokka insists, fixing me with his big, blue eyes.

"i said i was fine, ok?" i snap at him, but as soon as i do, i regret it deeply.

the teacher tells us to shush and threatens to send us to the principal if we don't stop chattering.

i ignore her and bury my face in my palms, pressing them hard against my eyes. i really can't do anything right, can i? sokka is the most amazing and caring boyfriend i could ever ask for, and he keeps trying to make sure i'm doing alright, and how do i repay him? by yelling at him?

i'm a horrible person. i don't deserve him, and i never will.

"i'm so sorry, sokka" i whisper and glance at him. "i didn't mean to sound rude, i know you mean well"

his eyes soften and he grabs my hand under the desk, interwining his fingers with mine. the sensation that his skin leaves on mine makes me feel as if everything will turn out ok.

"don't worry about it, i know you're pretty tense at the moment" he smiles at me with understanding and my heart melts.

i've talked to him about what's been bothering me lately, and he's been encouraging me, and telling me that it's not the end of the world not to have my life figured out at 18. i think he's right, but everyone else keeps making a big deal out of it, so i tend to get lost in my thoughts. luckly, he's always there to keep me from drowning in them.

--

the classes passed painfully slow, but finally, it's time to go home, so me and sokka jump in his car and head to his place. katara finished school early today, so she won't catch a ride with us today, as she normally would.

as soon as we enter his house, i throw my backpack on the floor, and so does sokka. i play with appa for a little bit, while sokka is making something to eat for us and for katara, that is probably in her room, doing... whatever she does all day.

"so, what do you wanna do now?" he asks me as soon as we finish eating lunch.

i think about it for a second, while sokka puts away all the dishes that were spread around the table.

"hmm, i don't know, we can make out" i suggest with a shrug.

he chuckles and approaches me with a devilish grin plastered all over his face.