Staying Afloat

Chapter 17

!TW- ED CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

Payton walked into the park and came over to the bench I was sitting on. He pulled me into a hug.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked with eyes full of concern.

"God, where do I even begin? August hates me. Riley made him hate me. I don't know how to fix it. I feel broken inside and I think I have an eating disorder and just everything is terrible right now." I told him.

"I'm really sorry, Cece. I should've noticed."

"It's not your fault, really. I know that I've been kind of distant for a few weeks, and that's when things started to get bad." I told him everything that Riley had done to me the past few weeks, how I opened up to Benny about things, and how August reacted.

"I can't believe he would say that. You know that's not true, right? You're not looking for attention, you're not causing drama. I'm glad you're getting help, and I'm here for you no matter what you need, okay?" I nodded in response and he pulled me into another hug.

"Thank you, Payton. It feels good to tell you all of this." I smiled to myself, feeling lucky to have someone like him. "I love you." His ears perked up as I said this.

"I love you too." He kissed me quickly. "Can I walk you back home?" I nodded and we headed back to my house. When we got there, Payton wanted to come in to make sure I was okay, but I decided against it. I didn't want him to get caught in the crossfire. I kissed him goodbye and walked in the front door, only to see blood on the floor. Benny walked in from the kitchen with a bag of frozen peas on the left half of his head.

"Oh my god Benny! Did August do this?" I asked. 

"You think this is bad? You should see him." He smirked and moved the bag of peas revealing a black eye and a bloody lip.

"Benny, you shouldn't be fighting people. It never ends well." I lectured.

"Well he deserved it. He was being a shitty brother. He should've never said that stuff about you. And I shouldn't have told him. I know you didn't want me to, but I thought he'd be understanding. I guess you were right." 

"I usually am. You should listen to me more." I smirked.

"Okay, well I do have something else to talk to you about. I know that telling people about this is how we got into this whole mess, but I think it would be good for you to talk to someone who has gone through this."

"Benny I-" I interrupted him, only to be interrupted back.

"Just let me finish. Please."

"Okay, go on." I agreed.

"I don't know if you even know this, because you were like 11 or 12 when it was going on, but you know Ella?" I nodded, Ella was our "Aunt" Suzie's daughter. She was a few months older than Benny. "Well, you know how she got really sick at the beginning of high school? She had an eating disorder. And it had gone on for almost a year before someone noticed and she finally got help for it." I was shocked to hear this. I remember her getting thinner and more withdrawn, and that her parents were very stressed, but nobody ever told me why. It was always just that she was sick.

"I didn't know that. I just remember her being sick." I said

"Well, I think she might be good to talk to. I can text her if you want."

"Yeah. I think that would be good."

---

The next day, I was sitting across the kitchen table from Ella. When Benny explained the situation to her and asked her to talk to me, she was more than willing to help, which I appreciated.

"So for me I started to have problems when I started high school. A girl I knew had a pool party during the summer and I felt so uncomfortable in my swimsuit. I decided to go on a diet so I would lose weight before the next summer, but it wasn't working fast enough. So I started  to skip meals and work out constantly. I would count every single calorie I ate and feel guilty for eating a normal meal. This lasted for the whole school year, but it was never enough. I told myself that I would stop after I lost 10 pounds, but then I just kept going. Then, one night at the beginning of the summer, Jane caught me in the bathroom trying to make myself throw up ." Ella told me. Jane was her sister who was about a year older than me. 

"I had no idea this was going on. I mean, I remember you just being more withdrawn, but I thought you were just being a teenager I guess." I said.

"Well, that's the problem with eating disorders. They're so isolating that sometimes people don't notice and you can't get the help you need. I'm glad you're getting help before thing get too out of control. When Jane caught me, she told our parents, and I was so mad at first but now I'm glad she did. Eating disorders are serious. It easily could've killed me."

"So what did you do? Did you go to therapy?" I asked her, wondering what might happen to me.

"Well, I tried to, but it wasn't really working for me. I had been so consumed by my eating  disorder that I went to a residential treatment facility over the summer. It's like a house where you go and they keep track of all your meals and watch you constantly to make sure you aren't doing anything harmful to yourself and you go to therapy and get treatment there. I was there for about a month and a half and you live with a bunch of other people that also need treatment. And now I'm much better but I still struggle with my body image to this day."

"Wow, I guess I'm lucky that Benny caught me when he did."

"Yeah, it's always easier to get help sooner rather than later. Not only that, but the longer you suffer, the more likely you are to have serious long term effects. You said your problems started a few weeks ago, right?" She asked, and I nodded in response. "It's good to get help as soon as possible. If you want, I can give you the number of the clinic I go to for therapy. They specialize in eating disorder treatment. And if you need help talking to your parents or family or you just need any support, I'm here for you. You're gonna beat this!" Ella gave me a smile and squeezed my hand gently.

"Thank you for everything. I'm glad I have you to talk to." I gave Ella a nice hug. It felt so comforting to know I wasn't alone.

•••A/N•••
Finally a new update for y'all!

How'd you like this chapter? How do you feel about Ella?

Thank you for all of the votes and comments!!

Lots of love!

Sara