Not Another Love

Chapter 10: The Drive Home

The drive home from the hospital was the longest drive I've had in a while and not just because it was over a 3 hour drive. I didn't know what to think. I tried to get my mind off things get something to eat. I stopped by Red Robbin to pick up something to eat. I ate the whole thing fairly quickly.. when my mother called. I can't deal with anymore bad news. I kept going back between decline or accept but then I got another call from Josh. Its been around 2 hours since I left the hospital only about another our until i'm home. I picked up the call from Josh

" god please tell me you don't have bad news Josh."

" well it's not as bad as it could be.."

" what is it?"

" well it's just that Carson is currently not in the hospital"

" wha what do mean he's not there."

" he left.."

It's like he's doing this to me on purpose. These days Carson just can't do anything right. There was no need for him to leave the hospital, all they were doing was trying to help him. So now as I was in the Red Robin parking lot I didn't know where to go. The search continues for Carson once again. I look in the glove compartment to make sure the cocaine is still there and no one magical took it. Its still there which is a relief.

I'm at my house now after the long drive. I open the car door and it's raining again. Its not even suppose to rain this much in California what even is going on. My mom had no idea what was going on she hasn't talked to me in days so I hope she won't be to freaked out. I slowly but surely walk inside to the house. Sometimes I like standing in the rain because it helps to wash some of the bad away... at least I think.

I walk inside my mom comes rushing to the door I should see in her eyes she was frantic lost for words.

" honey where were you?"

" It was Carson he well he's suppose to be in hospital but he's not and.."

" i'm just glad your home."

She gave me a big hug which was more satisfying than it sounds. I felt secure I felt safe inside my mothers arms, when everything else around me was falling out of place.

I sat at the kitchen counter while she was cleaning up the kitchen.

" Mom I have something important to tell you."

she nodded

" Carson was in the hospital for an overdoes on cocaine."

She didn't reply for a minute then her lips parted and she said

" Well he must get help."

There was really not much I could do anymore. Nothing at all really I was stuck in the bottom of a deep dark hole and there was barley any light at least that I knew of. I went up stairs to take a shower hopefully washing away some of the pain some of the left over memories that I hoped I would forget. I threw my phone on my bed and closed the door and went into the bathroom. The shower felt good I haven't felt this clean in days. I didn't cry even though you wouldn't even be able to see. I decided to use my floral soap instead of the beach one because.. well you know.

I was brushing my hair when I heard a strange noise coming from my bedroom. I grasped the towel around my body and slowly opened the door.

" ahh "

it was Carson.

" you scared me half to death."

" nice towel" he replies like its just a normal occurrence he sneaks into someone house while there showering.

I grab some clothes out of my dresser and change into them in the bathroom. I was wearing pajama shorts and a over sized t-shirt but it wasn't his. I walked out and he was still sitting right where he was before I had left.

"how did you get in"

" the window." he replies so calmly.

" Cole I came to tell you that we can work things out i'm not letting you go. "

I'm sitting next to him on the bed. He brushes his hands across my leg there not soft that quite course and dry.

" I don't know if that's really a good idea though."

" Cole I'll never stop loving you and you know that."

he puts his hand on my face like he did in the hospital. I take my hand and brush it away and get up from the bed.

" I just you can't understand why your doing cocaine."

" It just takes my mind off things Cole you have to understand"

" but I don't i can't and I won't you need to stop I don't want you to go away."

tears start coming down my face and I cover my face with my hands.

" Cole come here." he commands

I stay where I am and he get up and slowly puts his arms around me my tears roll onto his shirt.

" Carsen I don't know what to do."

" then lets get to know each other again." he suggests

When I'm in his arms it's like time changes and I see the world in a different world. He looks down at me and kisses my forehead.

" slow" he repeats " slow"

" you should go home " and with that he leaves where? Well I'll never for sure anymore.