The simulation

Chapter 1- Bad days

When I lay down, I feel numb. My problems simply drift away and linger above my head till sunrise, when until then the cycle repeats. I stare at the ceiling without thought, without meaning but just an empty glance. I raise from the dip in my bed that my body has created and sigh. The moonlight dances through my window and shines on my face with a polite greeting as my mother walks into the room, looking as perfect as the midday sky. You could tell she couldn't sleep either because her worry for me is worse than any disease. Love is the strongest power that connects you with people around you. On my mothers bad days, she would refuse to sleep as she thinks its to protect me. If she is awake, nothing can harm me. Though she forgets that my mind can hurt me, the worry I participate with every year eats me up inside until I no longer fear the thought of it. My mothers wavy long, brown hair and deep, blue eyes prevents me from believing in any God or Angel or miracle because the only thing as Godly and as powerful as the Lord is my mother herself. She stands holding the knob of the door and calmly says,

"Cant sleep either?" I have to think a while before my response as I would rather not add anymore worry then what she is already worrying about.

"The wind woke me, I'm sorry if I woke you up." I whisper with my weak voice

"You never, don't worry, I just wanted to let you know that you have to get up early for work." My mother says with a hint of guilt for bringing it up.

"I know." I say. She slightly smiles then walks away, closing the door behind her. I noticed before she shut the door, her smile faded. She went from the brightest summer day to the darkest midnight rainstorm.

I fell back to my bed carelessly and hugged my blanket with a tight grip. I forced my eyes shut and focused on sleeping. Even though my Insomnia refuses to let me have one goodnight sleep, I still tried to turn off my brain even for just a few minutes. I would have been very grateful.