Paid To Love You

chapter 14

@katrixrose thank you for the book cover ❤️

When I finished narrating the story, Adams rubs his hands on my back in a comforting manner.

I'm sorry you've to go through that.
Did they try to reach out to you?

We're in it together, no need to apologise.

He smiled at my silliness as he continues to pat my back.

To answer your question, I don't think so. I mean, if they did they would've found me.

I searched everywhere for you but it was in vain.
I stopped searching for a while thinking probably what you needed was space but I didn't see your greenlight until you mistakenly called.

Adams, it wasn't a mistake. I called because I wanted to talk to you but I didn't expect you to pick it at that hour so I wasn't prepared.

So you've to plan to talk to me.
Is that how it is now?

Don't get me wrong, I just don't know what to expect. I don't know whether you are still mad at me or maybe you understood why I left.

So now that we're together, what do you think?

If only you're not so expressionless right now, maybe I'd have guessed.

"Don't give me that attitude" he warned.
You're the one that left not the other way round.

Yes, I left, and it kills me every day. But if I were to go back in time, I would have done the same thing.
What is the essence of staying in a place where you're not wanted?
What could I possibly gain in staying other than more pains and heartbreak?
Because of our parent failed love life, I didn't give love a chance in my own life.
I'm afraid of living such a miserable life forever and dragging innocent kids into my mess.
Each time I heard someone has a happy family, the only thoughts that come to my head is "it's all a facade" it rings in my head every moment and am about to go crazy all thanks to my miserable parent.
Why do I have to suffer for their mistake?
Leaving home is already a scar. So just imagine me staying back, I would have lost my freaking mind by now.
So don't talk to me like you can't relate to what I am saying.
If it is a stranger, maybe I'll understand but it's you and you know exactly what am talking about so don't you give me that look.

So in your defence, hearing dad's conversation with mom made it okay to run away right?
If anything Sarah, that was selfish of you.
You left without uttering a single word to anybody.
No one knew where you went or has any information about your disappearance for that matter.
You didn't even bring anything with you not even your cloth or phone leaving us with a big headache.
You thought the family was a failure when you were there, then you should have seen what happened after you left.
We were worried sick. Yes, we never support each other like a family was supposed to, but if not because of your foolishness in disguise of naive, then you should have known everyone was going through a lot of difficulties at that moment.
You can't give what you don't have Sarah so if anything, you're the selfish one.
I tried as much as possible to be there for you, stand by you and support you all your life but what did you do?
You run away when things get difficult.
I'm not trying to justify what dad did at your birthday party but thanks to your stupid action, Mom has been living in guilt ever since. Not that I care, but recently I heard she has been going to rehab because of depression.
Mom was never in a good health but she tried to maintain herself as well as keep the family together.
But what did you do?
You left and destroy all the work that sick woman is trying to amend.
And here you are, seeking pity for shattering the family completely,
I must confess, I'm disappointed in you Sarah.

Why did you bring me here then?
To lash out at me and tell me how stupid I am for shattering our already damaged family?
Adams, are you listening to yourself?
Dad shattered my dreams right in front of me!
He knew I never did drugs yet he allowed the cops to take me away in the rain.
I slept on the cold floor shivering while I got bullied by the stupid gang in the jail.
So what was I supposed to do?
Run into his arms and kiss him, while I thank him for spoiling my reputation?
I had to fly across the country to a place where no one knows my story, Adams before I begin to walk freely.
Back home, I was a laughing stock.
Whatever little respect they had for me vanished in an instant.
So tell me Adams if it were you, would you have stayed back?