The Unity Of Two

12: A Lecture

I nervously watched the doorway as I clung to the ceiling. Then Ratchet walked through, drenched in vivid green paint. He looked around for me but seemed to forget to look up, he searched elsewhere. "Little glitch." He hissed.

"You got him good!" Unicron giggled, having heard him curse.

Bumblebee waked in, slightly confused, then he spotted me. "You better pray to Primus, he doesn't find you." He told me quietly, I nodded in agreement.

And then Optimus walked in, he followed Bee's optics and spotted me. He frowned, "Get down here." He said, he was clearly angry but trying not to show it.

"Oh dear, you're about to go lick his peds, are you?" Unicron asked.

I stayed on the ceiling.

"Good boy!" Unicron praised me.

"I can find the harpoon." Bumblebee offered. "The magnetic one." He added.

Optimus looked back up at me, "Last chance." He warned.

I'm pretty sure he was bluffing about the harpoon but I didn't want to risk it. I slowly flew down and landed as far away as possible.

"Now you will go sit on the berth, in the medbay until I deal with you. Is that understood?" He said sternly.

I nodded.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Yes." I answered audibly. I felt like I was being strangled by his glare. I walked over into the medbay slowly and sat on the berth, Bee following me.

"He must be intimidating." Unicron said.

Bee stopped and looked down at me. "Word of advice." He started, I looked up. "Don't try and fight him." He said and looked a little grim, "Mind you, when I was a youngling and did stupid stuff. He would lecture me, I would talk back and the results werent pretty." He warned me and began to walk out of the medbay, "I couldn't sit for a week." I heard him mutter faintly.

"If you're still wondering what he's going on about-" Unicron started.

"I know what he means." I told him.

"Good, I wonder what he did to piss him off." Unicron muttered as I got out a small chunk of energon and put it in my intake. "I swear, you're going to swallow me one day." He said, and I realized how weird that would sound like out of context.

And then Optimus walked in with a livid Ratchet, he shot me a glare and opened his intake.

He was stopped when Optimus started talking.

"You used a grenade in the trap?" He asked for confirmation.

I nodded nervously. He stared me down, "Yes." I said.

"And you understand that you could have done serious damage?"

"Yes." I said.

"Then why did you do so?" He asked as Bumblebee peeked in with a worried gaze.

"Sire said he would be fine." I told him.

Ratchet scoffed.

"Well he is!" Unicron argued, "And you're making me seem like a scapegoat." He told me.

"He also told me to set up death traps, but I didn't." I argued, Bee facepalmed. Right I shouldn't talk back.

Optimus sighed, "We invite you to our base-"

"Forcefully invite." I corrected, Unicron cracked up.

Optimus glared at me as if he was about to snap and Bee looked on in horror.

"We invite you here, offer you protection, shelter, and resources. In return you make helping you difficult, contribute to escape plans, and set up pranks." He said in a deadly tone, "And therefore, the least you could do, is to BEHAVE yourself." He said, emphasizing 'behave'.

"It sounds like you're better off without me." I stated.

"Pits yes." Ratchet muttered.

"So it would be in everyone's best interest if I left?" I asked them.

Ratchet looked over to Optimus hopefully

"It's moments like these, I'm not disappointed in you." Unicron said, "Sadly, that doesn't happen much." He added.

"Frag you Sire." I said, added the 'Sire' to avoid confusion.

"You will be staying here." Optimus said, they had gotten used to my 'mental instability'.

"Yay." I let of the least enthusiastic celebration ever.

Unicron started another laughing fit.

Optimus grit his derma and Bumblebee looked on in horror, he walked over to me and put a rough servo on my shoulder.

"What now? Are you going to strike me?" I asked, "So much for 'protection'."

"Well damn." Unicron snickered.

Optimus paused, looking down at me and Bumblebee looked like he'd wish he'd found that loophole sooner.

"No," Optimus guided me off the berth. "But you will clean up the mess you left." He said and pointed to a large mop in the corner.

I nodded, grabbed the mop, and left as soon as I could.

"Bumblebee," I heard him start. "Watch him."

I heard Bee approach but kept walking. "I have no idea how you got out of that." He said, breaking the silence.

I shrugged and stared at the vivid green paint ahead of me.

"Just do it and it will be over at an instant." Bee advised.

"True." Unicron added.

I looked around and spotted a sharp shard of metal. I got an idea.

"Wanna make a bet?" I asked, I was spending way too much time with Unicron.

"Oh goodie." Unicron giggled.

Bee narrowed his optics, "Depends on my chances."

I walked over to the paint, dipped a digit in it and went over to the other side of the hallway. Then I drew a small target and walked back to Bumblebee.

I showed him the shard, "If I can get this to hit the target..." I pointed to the target twenty meters away from us. "You clean this up." I pointed to the paint on the floor.

"If you don't, you have to clean this up," He pointed to the paint, "And mop my berth room." He crossed his arms playfully.

"Deal." I told him and we shook on it.

"Deal."

"It's a good thing I trained you in target practice, huh?" Unicron snickered.

"Yup." I said and tossed the shard as if it were a dagger.

Our optics followed it until it hit its mark.

"Frag." Bumblebee's shoulders dropped.