Too Hard To Love

Chapter 1

"Shawn, stop! Shawn, get off of me! Shawn please! Shawn!"...."Shawn! Stop! Shawn!"... "Natalie wake up! Natalie!". Natalie's mother Brenda was in town and was staying with her for a week. "Good morning mama," said Natalie sweating profusely. "You know baby, you have to do something about these nightmares. They've been happening ever since I got here." Said Brenda. "Well mama, you know I can't do nothing about it. I have PTSD. I have to deal with this for the rest of my life." "Baby, ain't nothing that God can't fix." "If that's the case, why couldn't he fix Shawn's mind before doing what he did to me." Said Natalie raising her voice. "First of all, take that tone out your voice. Secondly, God knows what Shawn did, but you..." "Mama, I really don't want to have this discussion right now. I got to get ready to go to work." Natalie walked out the room angrily. She hates bringing up Shawn. Shawn raped her a few years back, and she's still trying to recover from it. Her PTSD is getting worse and worse by the day and it's affecting her love life. She hasn't dated or been with anyone since Shawn. About an hour and a half later, Natalie is all dressed and ready to head off to work. She grabs her keys and purse and makes her way out the door. "Okay, mama, I'm bout to go to work. Love you, bye." Natalie slams the door shut. As Natalie pulls up to work, her best friend Tamika is standing outside waiting. Tamika is 5'8" with hazel eyes and caramel skin. She had the prettiest Indian hair that flowed down her back. She is a chill, funny and outgoing person who always has her best friend's back. "Hey best friend! Girl, why you look like that, it's Friday cheer up." "Tamika, today is not my day. I had one of them nightmares again, and mama been buggin' me all morning. I'm just tired and ready to move." Tamika took a step back. "Move? When were you gone tell me that you were moving? Girl you ain't moving nowhere unless...." "Unless you are moving in with me." Natalie dangles keys in Tamika's face. "Oh my God, girl no! These are not my keys." Said Tamika excitedly. "Yes, bestie, you're moving in with me. When you're ready of course." Tamika jumps and hugs Natalie while smiling big. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank youuuu! See, this is why you're my best friend!" "I know, I know, now girl let's get in here and get to work before the boss lady up there fires us," Natalie says laughing.

Their boss Ramona Wilkinson is standing in the middle of the room preparing to make an announcement. "Hello! Hello! Hel-lo, my lovely employees! I have an announcement to make. We have a new member of our team, Darren Smith. He has a job as a therapist but decided to work for us as a second job." Everybody begins to clap, and Natalie and Tamika stare at each other. Tamika whispers to Natalie and says, "Girlllll, Mr. Darren is fine! 6'2", curly short Afro, light brown eyes, and he can dress. Girl he is perfect!" "How do you even know he's 6'2''?" Says Natalie. Tamika looks at Natalie and says, "You can tell. I mean look at him! He's like a fine tall glass of lemonade!" says Tamika staring at him, giving him a sexy look. Natalie does the same. Ms. Ramona goes on with her announcement. "Mr. Darren here will be working with our marketing team and Natalie, you are in charge of getting Darren used to our marketing department. Show him around, tell him what you do, and show him how everything is done." Says Ramona. "I'm on it." "Alright, now everyone back to work. Darren, Natalie, you guys start working together. Natalie, please show him around and give him a tour of our company. I'm pretty sure it will be fun!" Ms. Ramona runs back to her office and closes the door. Tamika pulls Natalie to the side and says, "Oooouuu girl, you in charge of Darren? I like it!" "Don't get your hopes up sis, this is only professional. But he is fine though." Says Natalie throwing the sexy look again. "Oh my God he's coming over, act natural." "Hi, I'm Darren, and you must be..." "Natalie, yes." Tamika buts in and pushes Natalie a little. "I'm Tamika, her best friend." Darren begins to chuckle. "Haha, nice to meet you. So, Natalie...are you going to show me around. Hellooo?" "NATALIE!" Tamika says faintly while nudging Natalie. "Oh, my bad, um, yeah let's go. I'll show you our floor first." Natalie goes off with Darren and he nudged her and said, "I saw how you were looking at me. "I know this is professional, but you're cute. If you ever want to go to lunch or dinner or out for coffee, let me know."

Natalie looks puzzled. She knows it's too hard for her to love someone because of her PTSD. Her trust in men is so messed up, it affects her chances at love, which is something she really wants. She's too afraid someone is going to take advantage of her just like Shawn. But, her facial expression changed as she thought about it. She looked up at Darren and said, "I'll think about it." This was her go to answer for any man who has asked to take her out. After the tour was over, Darren brought up the question again. "Are you free tonight? Can I take you out to dinner?" "Why do you want to take me out? You like me or something?" Said Natalie. "I mean...you're a decent woman. A gentleman can't take you out?" "I'll think about it." Darren laughs a little. "Is that your answer for everything?" Natalie looks at him confused. "Well, first of all, the only thing I know about you is that you're cute and your name is Darren Smith. Second, I don't appreciate you trying to take me out. If I rejected you the first time, then what makes you think my mind changed the second. You know what, this tour is over anyway. I got other work to do. Excuse me." Natalie storms off and goes to the elevator. "Natalie wait," as Darren runs to Natalie. "Natalie, wait a minute. I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to..." "It's ok Darren. Today hasn't been my day at all. I got into a fight with my mom about something and I had a nightmare that I can't get over. I'm just going through a lot at the moment. I would like to go to dinner though. Maybe I can explain this more." Natalie said. "Is 8:00 a good time?" "Yeah, I'll see you then." Darren knew that it was something deeper than a nightmare and a fight with her mom to want to run off like that. He wanted to know what was going on with Natalie. He knew that if he would take Natalie to dinner, he could find out what her problem is.