I Just Want To Feel Again

When I lost It All

Dear ........October 10 xxxx,
Loneliness isn't necessarily being in a room alone,but always having a constant reminder that no one around you cares.
Sadness doesn't always mean your crying with a frown on your face sometimes it's just the silent screams for help and the broken smiles you wear
Death isn't defined by a pulse dropping or  lungs that stops breathing.Its define when a person it ripped of all feeling emotions and when a person lacks these qualities the person is no different then any dead body.
These are the aspects of life us humans dont understand and most likely never will.
-Unknown

'Run run run no matter how much it hurts no matter how much you lungs ache no matter the pain dont stop running'These are the thoughts that have kept me alive.Hello my name is Naruto Uzumaki and welcome to my life.If your wondering why I am running it's because in my life everyone hates me no matter where I go its always the same thing they either call me names,whisper about how they wish I was gone,thinking I cant hear them,or they just look at me with hate and disgust others with fear and sadness.Back to me running I am currently running away from a mob of angry villagers and usually that wouldn't be much of a problem but on this cursed day kami decided to cut my luck short because unlike my usual beating from the normal civilians shinobi are with them and not some wannabe ninja full fledged ninja.Oh and how could I forget the anbu who are supposed to "protect" me are just hiding in the shadows watching."Get back here demon"One yelled to me.Let's finish what the fourth started"Another joined.Those comments are no stranger to my ears yes it hurts to hear them say day in and day out but what can you do.I have been running for about 4 hours and I was just about there to the hokage office where I knew I would be safe but my five year old body can only endure so much.So at the worst possible time my body just collapsed.I fell on the cold dirt floor trying my best to get back up and run to safety."I was almost there" "why why why" I kept mumbling over and over until a man that reeked of alcohol gripped my by my once golden locks that are now covered in dirt to a alley way far from the hokage tower most likely so Jiji can't hear my cries for help."You thought you could get away well you thought wrong demon" The man who was dragging me sreamed."Now we can start the real fun"I heard another voice speak in the corner of my eye I could see a flame more like a bond fire but I knew they didn't chase me and drag me here to roast some marshmallows.I came to the conclusion that they wanted to roast me."Please don't do this" I begged them. "Oh look the demon begging us to let him go" A man shouted."You didn't stop when you killed my wife"The same man screamed after that all the people who gathered kept telling me I didn't stop when they begged me to stop killing their love ones like children,parents,homes,wives,husbands,house, friends etc.I didn't understand what they were talking about I never took anyone life but I was always accused of such things and it always hurt the same.While I was stuck in my thoughts I didn't even notice the villagers pouring what smelt like lighter fluid all over my body."W..W..What are you doing"I stuttered out."Where going to get you used to burning in fire,The way you will be in hell." A villager indulged me in there plans.'Wait what hell that means there going to kill me.I don't want to die.Please Kami don't let me die.'I begged the heaven but I knew my pleas just fell to death ears."Well what are we waiting for"A women announced followed by loads of cheers.Before they ended my suffering the gave me one final beating you know one last hooray before the kill me.When they Finally threw me in the fire I felt my skin slowly burn away.I could smell my own flesh burn.I could hear the sizzling of my skin when it came into contact with the yellow and red flames.After five minutes of me just struggling to get out of the fire with no avail I just stopped I sat still waiting for it all to end.I let myself leave I just wanted to die.The only thought I had was that once I was gone I would be at peace.What assumed to be my final moments where used for getting to see my life flash before my eyes.I can't say it was all that great I mean my life didn't involve any happy moments it was all consumed of my getting beaten with no remorse.I was almost at the verge of tears swing that my life would never amount to anything.'Key word /almost/' the last thing I saw before I only saw black was a man covered in bandages all I heard him say was 'emotion never helped anyone there just a weakness that the human species needs to rid itself of' those were the last words I would ever hear and I swore If I ever got another chance at life I would follow those words.That's what I told myself before I slowly drifted to what I hoped was my death.