TᕼE ᗰOᑎᔕTEᖇ IᑎᔕIᗪE [1]

i really don't like arguing

the days i spent in the hospital were not fun.

i was constantly in and out of sleep, whether it be because of drugs, venom, or just my overall exhaustion from everything that happened. i had managed to ask the doctor to keep visitors out of my room, which he'd said only family was allowed in, anyways, which ended up being the shinso's.

which made sense, considering i did go live with them after mom died and all.

after waking up on my second day in the hospital, i heard a knock on the door and in walked a familiar face that had me sending my visitor a small, slightly scared smile.

"uh, hey, hito-kun. been a hot minute since i last saw you, right?"

his eyes bore into me, and i wince as he keeps staring while moving to take a seat at the edge of my hospital bed. i just know that this conversation is definitely not going to end well; especially not for me.

"umm... how's your parents? i hope i didn't make them worry too much with getting stuck here again. your dad isn't gonna yell at me for being reckless, is he?" i ask, trying to keep the tension in the room at a minimum, but it obviously isn't helping. fuck, hitoshi's gonna fucking kill me.

yep. you've been a dead man walking since the crazy bitch started texting

"shut up," i mutter, but send hitoshi a quick glance to see his face. wait, why am i worrying about his reaction to me talking to venom? he's been witnessing this shit since we were kids and is more used to it than i am, i shouldn't worry about his reaction like a dumbass.

we sit in the silence, the tension and his anger stewing the longer no words came out of either of our mouths. just as i thought of something that might diffuse said tension and calm him down, he cut off my thoughts.

"you're a fucking idiot, you know that?"

i flinch. even though i was expecting it, it still hit me kinda hard.

"yeah..."

"why didn't you tell me about manami? when aizawa-sensei told me about her texts, i got so confused. you promised you wouldn't keep shit like this from me anymore." his words make me flinch again, and i lower my head subconsciously in shame.

"i know..." i mumble, my fingers twitching as i stare at them, folded in my lap.

i really hadn't wanted to lie to my friends, especially not hitoshi and neito who were there for me back in junior high, but what was i supposed to do?

"rin, answer me. why didn't you fucking tell me about manami?" his voice was getting louder and more desperate with each word, and i look up from beneath my curtain of hair to see the pained look on his already worn out face.

'it's my fault he's so stressed nowadays. it's always my fucking fault.'

as if knowing what was going through my stupid head, my best friend glares darkly and smacks me, frowning. "don't think that stupid shit. just answer my question you fucking moron."

my eyes had been burning since i lowered my head, but looking up at hitoshi, i couldn't help but let the burning tears fall. his own eyes were teary, and we stare at each other while waiting for my mouth to open and spit out some goddamn words.

thankfully, venom helps and opens my mouth for me, which elicits words to fall out.

"i didn't tell you because i didn't want you to worry about me. you're my best friend, hito, and i almost fucking killed you because of manami. you've been going to therapy for how long, now, because of it? how could i take the chance of you relapsing or something if i even mentioned that she had resurfaced somehow? you're my best fucking friend and i was so fucking scared that if i told you, or anyone else, you'd get hurt. i don't want you to get hurt because of me, hito-kun, it would break me and i would have no idea how to help you."