drown and dwell || suayeon

drown and dwell

those eyes that i drown in are crying for me. 

_

i'm jumping on puddle after puddle in excitement, but in rain where i still cry.

you've pushed me into the oceans of my own tears. i reach my hand to a blurry delusion as my eyes slowly blinds by your beauty, to only be fooled by an invisible everlasting love.

sua, you tease.

i walk by and see you happily dancing in this rain of bliss. oh how i'm aching to dance in the rain with you. to feel the warmth of your hand within such cold. with such bliss, i feel my heart is crying out happiness.

but reaching to you feels like a blurry delusion.

when you're not here, it doesn't rain anymore. my reflection can laugh at my tears.

orbs as pretty as the shore, orbs as deep as the ocean.

without your rain of bliss for me to dance in, i drown into my overflowing tears. i've dwelled too deep into your sweet voice that it's embedded in my mind. your fake calls of my name still manages to dry my tears. 

the welling of my soul swells my heart. how foolishly have i tried grasp the mirage of your tears.  in this rough wave of my melancholy, you still sail. i wish to pull you together into my sea, but wouldn't that be selfish?

i wish to break this mirror of reality into pieces, but it'd pierce too deep in heart. i can't hide in my ocean of tears anymore. you could remind me of so many other fantasies, but only rejection is what i'm prone to.

my tears form this root of shattered memories. with all flowers fallen, each to bitterly smile at and shed tears to make more beloved memories. a leaf of hope grows and rustles against the cold wind to remind me i can still breathe, even in sorrowful pain.

i held everything back, hoping i don't stain this beautiful bloomed love.

am i too deep in of my own sad world for you to hear my desperate cry of love? i clutch to the ringing of the ocean's calls, hoping you'll be drawn to my love.

i see the sun setting by my sea. what remains is the moon tears that rains on me. 

no matter what comes pouring into my lost mind in the midst of the pretty sea, my heart that's filled with such love will keep me warm. let me surround by such love that even the gods will yearn for it.

even so, please keep smiling at me. 


i'll take my last breath and slowly drown and dwell into this beautiful lie till it's the last moment i see that smile of yours.

the last moment i smile, 

as i drown and dwell in the depths of your love.