18 - h.s

thirty three

Sophia Elliot

I must've ended up falling asleep because I woke up still in my clothes and on the top of my bed. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the light and stared at the ceiling. I looked over to my clock and it was 9:30. Sighing dramatically I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of my bed, making Toby stir in his sleep next to me. Smiling, I rubbed behind his ears to which he moved over closer to me and placed his head on my leg.

There was a sudden knocking at the door which made me jump, Toby included, so I shouted for whoever it was to come on in. I braced myself for it to be mom or dad but it was just Josh and I almost sighed in relief.

"Hey," He said before forming his lips into a line as he stood in my doorway, leaning against it. "How did you sleep?" He asked with what seemed like a fake smile and placed his hands in his pockets.

I sighed and looked at Toby again, trying to avoid any eye contact and hoped he'd just go away, I could really have used some time alone. "Fine." I felt him walk over to the bed and stand in front of me, making my pull my eyes away from my sleeping dog and look up at my brother. "What?"

"There's something not right." He sat down next to me and looked at me with a confused look as he tried to study my face and figure out what I was thinking and feeling. "What happened at that party? Did anyone hurt you? I swear to fucking God if it was Harry I-"

I cut him off, shaking my head furiously. "No, no. Nothing like that. Nobody hurt me, Harry didn't hurt me." I continued to shake my head before looking at my hands and picking at my nail beds. "Quite the opposite actually.." I mumbled under my breath, keeping my gaze strictly on my hands.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing." I shook my head and looked back up Josh who was looking at me with a puzzled expression. "Seriously, I'm okay. I promise. Harry didn't hurt me, no one did, I'm fine. I'm just a but tired thats all, parties really drain your social battery." I chuckled, running my hand through my hair, moving it away from my face. He gave me a look that said he didn't believe me but he sighed in defeat.

"Okay," he pushed himself off the bed and stood in front of me. "But seriously if anyone did hurt you, I'll kill them, okay?"

You have no idea.

I said nothing and just nodded my head, smiling a little bit and hoped the conversation was ending, I really didn't need any more reminding of what happened that night.

Satisfied, he kissed me on the head and walked over to my door, giving me a last smile before walking out and back downstairs. 

I looked over at Toby and saw him asleep still, his head next to my leg. I smiled and smoothed over his head, making him pull his head up and look at me before placing his head on my leg instead, using me as a pillow just like he always did. 

I giggled quietly and felt my phone buzz next to me, making my eyes travel to my phone. I quickly grabbed it, thinking it might be Aria considering I hadn't spoken to her much for a little while, and when I did, she had a bitchy attitude towards mine and Harry's relationship. She's really refrained from speaking to me since we started 'dating'. 

As I picked it up, Harry's name flashed on my screen, making me bite my bottom lip to suppress a small smile that managed to crepe up on me at the mere sight of his name. 

Harry:

Hey, how are you feeling?

I smiled and frantically typed back a reply.

Me:

I'm okay actually, still haven't really thought about what happened or anything but I'll be okay I just need time I guess. 

Even though I know it's all part of the plan I can't help but feel something in my stomach whenever he's remotely nice to me. I get butterflies as if he's my real boyfriend and it feels kinda weird, even though he's my fake boyfriend, he's a better boyfriend than my ex was to me and it feels nice to be appreciated or at least feel like I am.

My phone chimed again in my hand and I whipped my attention back to it after staring into space without even noticing.

Harry:

When you're ready to talk about anything, I'm here okay?

I wanted to scream. I couldn't fight the smile on my face and I placed my phone down and shoved my head into my hands, my cold hands fighting against the hotness of my cheeks as I continued to smile like a fucking idiot. 

I began to think back to the last couple days and since the party. Whenever he was near me or at the mere mention or sight of his name my heart began to race and my stomach fluttered.

Why is he making me feel like this?

It's just going to hurt more when this has to end.

I sighed, bringing myself out of my little fit and grabbed my phone again, typing back to his message, the smile still on my face although I tried to fight it as much as I could but it just wasn't happening. 

Me:

Thank you, Harry.

It means a lot, it really does.

You're the best.

I rolled my eyes at my own reply, already knowing what this arrogant fucker was gonna write back. His ego was already big enough and I know I've just helped him with that. Shaking my head and laughing, I thought about what he would say.

Funnily enough as I was thinking about it, my phone chimed again and when I looked below his name on the lockscreen of my phone, my thoughts were correct.

Harry:

I know ;)

The smile that was once on my face faded and I pulled my hands away, staring into the space in front of me. Why was I genuinely feeling things? This was never part of the plan, he can't know that I've actually began to feel things towards him, I'd never hear the end of it.

When this is all over, he'd always hold that against me, it would boost his massive ego even more and I couldn't get my heart crushed when he doesn't feel anything towards me. 

I can't fall for him.

Absolutely not.

Not happening. 

I don't want to get hurt, not again.