AAAGHHHH- mcyt edition

reality comes with a price

Techno had taken a liking to his neighbour. He'd never admit it, not to anyone, but he cared about the kid a whole lot. He was considering asking him to help carry some wood after chopping it down, an offer at companionship, and Ranboo accepted. The axe- Nobody gave Technoblade gifts, only the other way around. It was suffice to say, Techno's heart was warmed, despite anything otherwise.

So when Techno had descended the ladder to ask Ranboo for help, he had been worried.

-0-

Ranboo wasn't okay. On the floor of his basement. Was it a basement? Was it just a cave? Was it even real?

If he opened his eyes, truly, it probably wouldn't be there at all. The bunny he saw as his own, simple shapes lying on the ground, the chests just logs of wood. Nothing would be real, all the fantasy he'd created for himself simply made up, from his mind, because he was simply, plainly, lying to himself.

A buzzing in his ears. A cloudy day outside, was it cloudy? It could be wisps of smoke. It probably was. He couldn't be certain of anything at all. His hands felt like rubber, plastic, and no matter how much he sent signals, the fingers would not move, as he was not real.

If he thought about it (thinking?), was anyone even real? Were they all made up, all just imagination, just breezes of well-timed wind as words? Were Phil's hugs just a warm gust of strong wind, or a plethora of feathers just comforting him? Were Tubbo's playful hits just something touching him lightly? The buzzing gets louder, more insistent, and Ranboo forces himself (himself?) to try and hear real.

"...Boo...o...ay?"

It's just crackling, static, he dismisses. Just static and blood roaring in the empty room, the empty cage with logs of wood and he was probably starving to death, in real life. It sounded like a voice. But no one is real. You made it all up, you did, nobody is real and you're just lying to yourself in an empty room.

"Ra.....need you to focus .... alk to me."

"You're not real," Ranboo mutters. "You're not real, you're not, you're just my imagination, I'm alone."

The voice takes a sharp breath. "No, you're not."

Ranboo chokes on tears he didn't know was there. Tears? Why was he crying? There was nothing to be crying about, nothing there. "Yes, I am. Nobody is here. Nobody is real, I might not be real."

His voice was so calm, so softly wind-like, and it freaked Ranboo out, it freaked him out because why didn't he feel anything, where were his emotions, why didn't he feel-

"Ranboo, breathe." Someone's voice. It could be static, you could be making it up, you would because you're lonely and sad and lonely.

"Ranboo!" The voice yelps, and Ranboo blinks, was that his name? His? Her? Whomst? All he knew was that everything around him was wavering in place, static- static??? Noise surrounding him, pain in his lower body, pain?

The pain could be something biting him in real life, life which isn't made up of static and thoughts and loneliness. Or the pain could be something in this life, this real life.

"Oh Ender, I'm not good at this sort of stuff.." Deep voice. Deep howl of an animal, probably. "Kid, what were you doing here? Doesn't water hurt endermen?"

-0-

"Ranboo?" No response, and Technoblade panics, placing a hand on Ranboo's shoulder. "Are you ok, Ranboo? Kid, respond."

(an: oop my vision is wavering brb)

"Yeah. Yeah, water hurts me." Techno hears, and he sighs in relief, slumping down to sit next to the boy.

"If it hurts you, why are you splashin' water bottles on yourself?" The piglin murmurs, mostly going on instinct.

Ranboo sighs, a vacant look in his eyes. "Voice, am I a bad person?" He closes his eyes, humming a tune under his breath. "If I open my eyes, it should be that the birds are chirping, it should be that the boxes are there, the sugar canes there, but it won't be. It's not real, is it?"

"Kid.." Techno frowns. "I'm not a voice, I'm real.." Yeah, he'd know all about voices.

"Are you though?" Ranboo continues, opening his eyes, and staring off into the distance. "You could be real, you couldn't be real. In reality, you could be static, I'm making you up, simply because I'm lonely. I'm sure it's happened before, Voice."

Technoblade could see that he wasn't going to get anywhere with this, and as much as he hated taking advantage of people's states, but honestly, he was getting tired of not knowing. This kid is so full of mysteries, and he never got any answers- So, Technoblade made a choice. "It's not really my choice on if you're a bad person, you gotta figure that out yourself. What have you done wrong?"

Ranboo starts rocking back and forward, tiny whimperings coming out of his mouth, blinking and blinking yet staring at nothing. "Well, voice, it's not always me. Sometimes it's the other me, the other voice." He whispers. "Sometimes the other voice likes to say things to me."

Techno blinks. Voices? Voice? The voices in his brain were shouting right now, protect, find out, water bottles.. water bottles? Oh yeah, water bottles. "What does the voice say?"

"It says I do things like helping criminals, you know, terrorism, minor stuff like that." Ranboo murmurs. "Hah. Fun stuff, but it's not real."

Technoblade narrows his eyes, surveying the completely out-of-it Enderchild. Terrorism? He knew that the child had no sides whatsoever, he hated picking sides, so it would make no sense that he would help a criminal, and why would he-

Techno hated not knowing. "Water bottles? Why would you throw them at yourself if they hurt?"

Ranboo shrugs, hands twitching as fingers struggle to move. "Because it hurts. The pain is therapeutic, it's grounding, it helps me realise that things are real. And it hurts. The pain is nice." Still whispering, blinking, twitching and trembling. Breathing in and out. "Plus, the other me comes out then."

Techno breaths in slowly, breathes out. A lot to unpack here. First off, other me? Secondly, pain being nice? Pain isn't something you want, it's not something that's nice, Techno would know that firsthand, he would know that so well and it went against everything Techno knew that pain would be nice. "Other me?"

"Mhm. The one that does the things like terrorism, Voice. He's not nice." Ranboo tells Techno, in a daze. "I just want to be happy, voice. Is that too much to ask? I want to be real." The child curls up, bringing his knees to his chest and voice breaking, taking a shaky breath in. With the exhale came tears, silent sobbing and shivering and not being okay. He smiles, anyway, because as the tears cascade down his cheeks and burn him.

"Ranboo..." Techno murmurs, crouching down beside the child, wiping the tears away. "Ranboo, sweetheart, you're allowed to be happy, of course you are. You're real, so am I, alright? You're here, and that's enough."

The touch seems to awaken something in Ranboo, the half-enderman curling into Techno's hand and shuffling further into his chest. The piglin hybrid tenses, before hesitantly placing his hands on the taller's back. Ranboo croons, a soft heartbreaking sound. "I want to be happy, me, I just want to be happy."

"It's okay, Ranboo, you're okay, I'm here. We'll work on being happy, alright? For now, just.. you're alright, Ranboo." Techno had no fucking clue what he was doing, but it seemed to be working, Ranboo let out another sob, more tears burning his skin. Techno's fingers carded through Ranboo's hair as he sniffs, leaning into the touch. Ranboo chuckles slightly.

"I don't know if you're real, but thank you for caring for my pathetic self." Ranboo murmurs to Techno. Techno hugs Ranboo closer.

"You're not pathetic, Ranboo, you're just not okay right now, and that's okay."

They stay like that for a bit, Techno whispering sweet nothings and Ranboo crying. After a while, though, Ranboo takes a deep breath. "...This is real, isn't it?"

Techno smiles, albeit softly. "Yeah, it is. You alright?"

"Not sure." Ranboo murmurs back. "I didn't think I'd ever get a hug from Technoblade."

The elder laughs softly. "Just never let Phil hear about this."