I Am Not My Skin [ UNDER EDITING ]

Chapter 19:

If you only have love for your own race, then you don't really have love in your heart for yourself.

My heart wept with joy as I hugged Jamal tightly in my arms, he whispered softly in my ear and said. "Thank you Drew, may the heavens bless you. My mama was right, you can make them see change." I held on tight. He was no longer the caged bird behind bars, he was a free bird and he shall spread his wings and soar the skies up high. He will fly because he has proven to them that he was not his skin. Behind his shade he was a human, a human with an incredible soul.

A talented being and a human full of love, he was free.

Even though we have offered Jamal stay with us he declined. He was more happier in his comfort zone, his home. The home which his grandmother left behind for him, he walked around and smiled as he looked at everything around. The photographs of Mrs. Brown were all over, he didn't cry, he smiled, never once did he shed a single tear.

"She came to me in a dream Drew," he turned to me as he said, "She told me that she was free, she was singing in the heavenly skies. She no longer was hurting, she wants us to dance. But happily and in the pouring rain, our time is no longer far Drew. Our time is much closer than they think, it is time for us to rise, to rise above them. Let us use our voices and spread the word, make them understand that we deserve equality. We are all the same and no longer will we lay on our backs. They fear us and use their weapons, our weapon is much powerful and they know it. Our weapon is our words, speak your truth Drew." He added.

He was happy, he was at peace and that is what filled my soul, filled my soul with so much joy. His words I will never forget, my dear Jamal you are right, it is time for us to rise.

I wish I could have stayed behind much longer but I was on-call and the hospital was a mad house today. I only slipped out for a brief moment because everyone at the hospital was aware of the good news, Carter pulled some strings and the case was dropped. Cassidy was too ashamed to be there from the moment Jamal came out, she left early with Johnny and Maya, oh my dearest Maya was more excited.

She ran to Jamal and hugged him and almost squeezed the life out of him, she beamed and couldn't hide it. They were smitten, but they both knew better. My father would skin them both before I could, but that was a secret well kept hidden between the three of us. I made a promise that no one must know even though I had a hunch my parents already knew they were going out. Maybe they were waiting for Jamal and Maya to come to them, they will have to wait for an eternity because I know Maya would never be so open about it, she was a shy person.

On my way out I bumped into Johnny. He was on his way to see Jamal and honestly, I couldn't be more glad to see his face. My mother called it "glowing" and said that I was worse than a teenager. Hmm, did she get a closer look at her youngest daughter? I chuckled to myself, I was at a loss for words as soon as I felt the softness of his thin lips pressed against mine, I froze, but didn't held back much. I returned the kiss, deeply I felt his lips against mine. I wanted it ever since I saw him, I gasped as soon as he stopped and said. "I have been wanting to do that ever since I've met you Drew."

I blushed, tugging at my shirt, I forgot what I had to do. My mind was in a haze and my speech was unclear, I was indeed a lost cause when it came to Johnny.

"I..." I ran across the street and stopped before my gate, how does he always make me lose focus whenever he was near? I am a normal person if he's not around and who gave him the right to just walk up and kiss me like that? I could turn back and slap him across the face, yes, no, yes, no-no Drew, focus! I remembered my breathing, I looked back and saw as he had been smiling, argh. Just go Drew.

The intensive care was a mad house today yet again, why are these people always coming in so wounded. But then I remembered there was a protest going on and most of the people that got shot were the young ones. They were close in age with Maya and it broke my heart, that could have been her, she also participates in protests and Lord knows I'll die if anything were to happen to her.

Everyday I lay awake at night and I think of how this world has been. So cruel and unfair, it is a sadness much deeper than any other, why are we the ones to pay for the hatred of another? Why can't we all just accept each and everyone for who and what they truly are? Or is it okay to turn a blind eye and ignore what is going on in our daily lives? I was fighting with my emotions to keep my head afloat.

I could hear as a commotion erupted from the cafeteria. "Oh please, America is not for your kind. Get on the next bus and get your black ass back to Africa, we don't want leeches here, go Nigeria." I could hear as they were arguing, but why? And as I approached, of course, Nicole. She was always the one to drag down others, and I had just about enough of her and her attitude towards others. There was never really a time where she didn't pick a fight with any of the nurses, but it was always so that nobody sees.

"That's enough, Nicole! Leave Destiny alone, she didn't do anything to you, is it really that hard to talk to her like you do to the rest of your co-workers? Or what? Huh, you have this thing about you where you always find comfort in belittling others, does that make you feel better about yourself? Do you sleep better at night knowing that you have done your part by racially attacking her? Do you sleep soundless in your bed where you are taught the only people that matter are white? No, you are disgusting, you aren't worth the title of being called a nurse. Is this how you treat the rest of your patients? Are you so blind that the only thing you can see is white? This mindset has to change, where is the fairness in all of this? Do you see yourself as superior? I really pity you."

Her face dropped and I could see the shame she carried as she should. We live in a world where we have to accept and love one another.