You've always been there for me, since I was born of course. You held me and cherished me, protected me as well. You always tried your best even when you were scared. You always put me and my brothers before anything else. We were so close, you were my best friend. I never imagine I would lose you though. I lost you when they took me away from you, it was a week of torture. I barely got to see you and it killed me inside. But I'll never forget when you came to visit, and you brought me a coloring book, and we laughed and drew together. When time was up the look on your face was heartbreaking. As you left I begged for you not to go. They pulled me away from you and I can see the tears rolling down your face. I've never been so scared in my life, I needed you more than anyone else in the world, I felt incomplete without you. I lost you permanently when I was 13. You told me you had cancer when I was 10, shortly after I was released from the hellish prison they call "Orange Wood" I wanted to scream and wake myself up from this horrid dream, but It wasn't a dream. Only reality. You fought long and hard. I watched you slipped in and out of comas, cry in pain, and suffer. I remember the day when I last saw you, you were still in a coma, but your eyes were open and you were crying. I tried hard not to cry, to show you that I was strong. I kissed your forehead and hugged you tightly. "I'll see you tomorrow" I said softly with a faint smile. Though I never did. I returned home and saw you weren't there, I rushed to your room and looked everywhere. You were gone, you passed away. I felt so sick, I screamed and cried my heart out. Even tried taking my own life. I was only 13 and I already thought my life was completely over. But I grew up, as years went by I became two separate people. I became a bitch and I became the most sweetest girl you know who was also in so much pain. But even though you were gone I still went on. I went on to highschool, got cheated on, lost a lot of friends, gained a lot of friends, joined something I loved and also kicked out of it, I met someone I love and is very happy. But even though I still continued on, I never forgot about you. You're still my sunshine. And yes you made me happy when skies were grey. I will break down and cry my heart out once and while, and even think about taking my life but I remember how strong you were when you were suffering. I want to be strong for you, and I will. I love you momma and I'll always miss you. I'll see you in paradise.
