The Love Games-A Tom Hiddleston Fanfic

2. The Break Up

It all started when my delusion was shattered. 

I was 20 years old. Andrew and I had been going strong for over a year, or so I thought. He'd always done some things I didn't really like. But I loved him. I mean, I had to. He'd taken my virginity. He was the one. He told me every day how much he loved me. How I was his. Sure, he'd hit me when he got high. And he couldn't seem to hear the word "no". But it wasn't his fault, it was just cause he was high. And he even told me! He had to be high. If he went without, he'd snap. He needed it. He told me it was medical, and hell, I'm not gonna argue with that. Besides, it was okay because I loved him, and he loved me. I could take it. As long as there was love, we didn't need anything else. He told me that himself. Everything was okay because I had his love. 

Until I didn't.

It was midnight. Pitch black sky. A slight fog hung in the cold, November air.

I was in his passenger seat in a deserted parking lot, numb.

He was talking to me. He was breaking up with me. He found someone new. He'd been seeing her for months. She didn't complain. She was beautiful. She kept her mouth shut. I thought I kept my mouth shut. I did everything to be perfect for him. I kept my hair brunette for him. He hated girls with bright coloured hair. I always payed for meals. I always gave him money for gas. Even if it meant I couldn't buy groceries. I loved him. And here Andrew was. Telling me that none of that mattered.

He slapped me.

"Are you even listening, Mae? We're done. Get out of my car."

My cheek stung, like it had many times before. I'd learned to take it. I didn't even whimper anymore. I was always proud of that. It showed him I was strong enough to handle his love. 

I turned to look away from the parking space lines I'd been staring at. 

"I'm just trying to understand," I said. "Why-"

Andrew grabbed my arm, I jumped, silently cursing myself for doing so.

"Get out of my car." He growled at me.

"B-but Andy... I'm so far away from home. I don't know this town very well..." I trailed off. I knew he didn't care. 

He sneared and looked out his window. "We're done. I never loved you. I was just in it for the sex. If you didn't see that, it's your own fucking fault. Get out."

Reluctantly, I pulled my purse into my arms and stepped out into the dark, damp night. Behind me, his engine turned on. I watched as the glow of his headlights dissappeared into the night.

I couldn't feel my fingers. My stomach was churning and I couldn't tell if it was due to the anxiety of trying to find a way home, or what I'd just been told. 

I'd only been to this town once before. Andrew had taken me there in the summer. There was a park with trails. I remember sitting beside a stream, he was running his fingers through my hair, telling me over and over again how much he loved me. 

A sound rose in my throat. A sound I had not made in a long time. 

I fell to my knees, the sob bursting out of me before I could stop it. 

The tears burned my cold cheeks, splattering onto the dirty black pavement of the lot. 

I hugged my bag close to my chest, chest heaving as I attempted to quell the tears. 

Vaguely I could feel the sharpness of the pavement digging into my knees through my now dirty and damp jeans.

In an attempt to stop the tears, I began rocking myself back and forth. Within time, my sobs had turned into sinffles with the occasional hiccup. My tears had stopped burning, only now stinging in the cold night air. 

That night I walked along a deserted highway. Not once did I see a single car. I desperatly hopped this had all been some elaborate joke Andrew was pulling on me. More than once I thought I'd seen headlights coming over the hill, or around the corner. Every time my heart lept, it was quickly sunk by the realization that my mind was playing tricks on me. If only he had turned around. 

The sun was rising as I finally stumbled past my towns welcome sign. My legs ached. But I didn't notice. I had cried myself out and had been walking for hours. The streets had all blurred together. 

Next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed. 

The events from the night before flashed before my eyes. 

I almost couldv'e thought it was all a dream, but the ache in my chest and in my legs told me otherwise. 

I felt empty.