Hush // Van

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It had been a long shift already and you were barely halfway through.
You'd worked the gig, started at half 4 and worked without a break through till ten. Changeover had been a frantic half hour and the club had been slow to start but chaotic now as the place packed out.

It wasn't the kind of night you liked to work, a 7am finish meant that curfew hit hours before kicking out time and that meant only one thing. The crowd would be coked up to the nines, buzzing and lary. They already were.

You'd not seen anybodies irises for hours now and everyone who came up to the bar seemed louder, more erratic than the last.

These kind of evenings left you on edge. You were an anxious lass at the best of times but this sent you over the edge. Panic attacks weren't unusual when you were pushing your way through the crowd between the bars and more often than not you chose to work without a break because it meant you wouldn't have to fight your way through the crowd to get outside.

Tonight was one of those nights. You'd not eaten since lunchtime and it was nearing midnight. You weren't even half way through and the energy drink you'd been sipping to get you through had gone straight to your chest. So your heart was racing and your nerves were frazzled. The music was too loud, you couldn't hear the drinks people were ordering and by the time it happened your senses were pushed to their limits.

It's no surprise that you burst into tears on the spot.

He'd been trying to pay for his drink but his card had kept declining. Every time it declined you winced, watched him get angrier and angrier. Watched him clench his jaw. You jumped when he slammed his fist down on the bar, but you hadn't expected him to lunch at you. Hadn't expected him to grab you by the scruff of your tshirt almost yanking you off your feet and over the bar.

He'd spat in your face and you'd felt a nausea wash over you, felt your heart stop. Felt the tears in your eyes the moment your coworker had saved you, put your feet firmly back on the floor and waved security over.

Theyd wiped his spit off your face with a bit of blue roll and when your bar manager saw the fuss around you, they shoved their own way through the crowd to get to you.

But it was too late to save you from yourself and you could barely stand by the time she took you by the shoulders to brush you down, offer you a hug and guide you away from the bar and out for a smoke.

That was always her tactic. Stressful evening, deep conversation, panic attack. Out for a smoke.

The tears were streaming down your cheeks as you let her guide you to the exit, a security guard walking in front of you to clear a path. You could hardly focus, hardly recognise the familiar route out of the venue, too much in a panic to keep a steady grip on reality.

"You're alright love," sighed your manager giving you a hug, "it's ok alright security are dealing with him, he's barred for sure, it's alright..." she said watching as you sat down on the concrete, hugged your knees to your chest and tried to pull yourself together.

"Thanks," you sniffed, trying to wipe your eyes though your efforts proved pointless because you couldn't stop crying. "Shit I feel so stupid, I'm being so dramatic," you said trying to pull yourself together, you still had over half a shift left and it was going to be more than a little humiliating if you didn't manage to stop crying before you had to go back to the bar. "I'll be fine in a minute, I'll be alright to go back in in..." but your manager cut you off almost laughing.

"Oh no, no way love, are you mental, you're not going back on the bar tonight lass... I know your fella, he'd kill me if I made you go back in there," she said with a grin, teasing you because everybody knew your fella.

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