BOB X BERNIE (ONE SHOTS)

Their first time.. [SMUT INCLUDED]

Bernie eyes were on the road while Bob was looking out the window. They got back from their romantic milmo adventure, but they argued over who got the gems. Bernie was pissed, and so was Bob. 

"You can't be able to ignore me for the rest of the night." Bernie said as he glanced at Bob

"Yes I can." Bob mumbled under his breath

Bernie sighed and went back to focusing on driving. The car ride home was awkward and silent, but it was better than arguing with each other. Bernie and Bob were finally home, but then suddenly bernie pinned down bob on the door.

"W-what are you doing bernie?!" bob yelped like a raptor

"Shh...our neighbors are gonna hear us." Bernie broke down the door and pushed bob onto the couch and kissing his eyeballs..

"A-ah~~ Ber-Bernie k-kun..." Bob moaned like a whale while locking eyes with bernie

"What is it kitten?.." Bernie whispered in his ears as he nibbled a bit of bobs ear wax off

"I dont know if i can do this..." Bob looked up at bernie with his ninja turtle eyes "You know we've never done this together before"

"It doesn't matter bob. just tell me you're ready to do this with me, please." Bernie said while looking down at bobs big obese eyebrows

"Fine, but we also have to do it my way.." Bob pouted like a chihuahua

"Anything you wish my little boobie billy bob." Bernie said while leaning closer to bob. "Your toes sure do look delicious bob." he said while winking at bob. bernie started farting on bobs toes, one by one. "do you want it here...or here? :)" he smirked (please help me) 

"B-BERNIE B-BAKA!" bob yodeled out in pleasure, he was shaking like trishas butterfly vibrator. even though bernie was teasing him, every subtle movement made bob crave more of bernies touch. 

"thats right...moan louder for me my little Among Us Fleece Blanket Super Soft and Warm Fuzzy Plush Lightweight Couch Bed Blankets, Throw Blanket for Kids Teens Men Women." bernie said while unzipping his pants, unleashing his HUGE king crab leg.

"B-Bernie...i-its so big.." bob said while gazing at it, he drooled all over bernies hot hedgehog abs

"It would be such a shame if you sucked it........" Bernie said while smirking, his two rusty front teeth fell out and he quickly put them back it. 

"A-Are you sure bernie..?" bob said

"Of course I am my little madagascar cockroach." he said while seductively smiling at bob

everytime bob stroked bernies king crab leg, it'd start jumping around like wobbly bouncy balls. though, it terrified bob a little on the inside, it secretly was REALLY turning him on.

"A-a-a-a-a--aaaahh~~~ shawtys like a melody-" bernie moaned out as bob stroked his king crab leg softly

bob sucked bernies king crab leg, bernie shouted out in pain. he was immediately taken to the hospital. bernie was put in a coma for the next 70 years and died. bob prepared bernies funeral as he saw bobs king crab leg right next to his tombstone. he yelped out crying like a posessed tea kettle while hugging the crab leg. nothing would ever replace bernie. the end.