every once in a while, i find myself asking the universe and all higher beings for a sign.
a sign if whatever we have is the right thing for me. a sign if you are the right one for me. if i should keep fighting for it as i always did. or if i should simply let go.
the universe and higher beings listen. and they deliver.
the universe has given me multiple signs and it continues to do so. but one of my worst traits refuses to listen.
my stubbornness forces my eyes shut and covers my eyes to see every clear sign given to me.
my hope does too.
my stubbornness forces me to hold on even though the universe is clearly showing and telling me to not do it. even if all the music in my many playlists suddenly are written about me and my situation. even if it's not what i deserve, i hold on.
the universe cruelly brought you to me. and i so blindly thought that the universe listened to me and finally gave me what i needed and what i always hoped for.
happiness.
and there i was, with the gift that the universe gave to me. the universe watched as i promised to care for it for as long as i was around. but then it was suddenly ripped out from my hands and my life and i was left again, in pain. and confused. but this is only the process of the universe putting me on the track to my well-being.
the universe is only doing its job. but im not doing mine.
so. dear universe,
i am sorry for refusing to listen to what is so obviously not right. i am sorry for not ridding my life of the things that are not for me. and i am sorry for holding on to something that i do not deserve. but universe, again i ask for one more thing.
a sign.
YOU ARE READING
missed the moon and stars.
Puisia poetry book about the countless struggles and little moments of happiness i have had here and there. tw// suicide, overdose, self-harm, abuse, mental illness.
